| (0, 1) 17 | Turn that off please, Bethan. |
| (VO) "Oh that dreaded black fly. | |
| (0, 1) 25 | ou. |
| (0, 1) 26 | Can you wave your arms please? |
| (0, 1) 27 | The light sensor is just above you. |
| (0, 1) 28 | Yes wave... |
| (0, 1) 29 | Keep waving. |
| (0, 1) 31 | Good. |
| (0, 1) 32 | There we are. |
| (0, 1) 33 | Thank you. |
| (0, 1) 34 | What's your name? |
| (Gwenith) Oh. | |
| (Gwenith) Oh. | |
| (0, 1) 38 | Fucksake. |
| (0, 1) 39 | Wave your arms. |
| (Gwenith) I can't see. | |
| (Gwenith) I can't see. | |
| (0, 1) 42 | Yes we know that. |
| (0, 1) 43 | Same as yesterday. |
| (0, 1) 44 | Wave. |
| (0, 1) 46 | WAVE. |
| (0, 1) 49 | Wave. |
| (0, 1) 52 | Wave |
| (0, 1) 55 | Wave. |
| (0, 1) 58 | WAIT. |
| (0, 1) 60 | WAIT... at the same time. |
| (0, 1) 61 | After three... one, two... |
| (Gwenith) On three or after three? | |
| (Gwenith) On three or after three? | |
| (0, 1) 63 | After three. |
| (0, 1) 64 | One, two, three! |
| (0, 1) 67 | No, you went on three, not after. |
| (0, 1) 68 | Again... |
| (0, 1) 69 | One, two, three, |
| (0, 1) 70 | NOW! |
| (0, 1) 73 | Don't ask. |
| (0, 1) 74 | Millions of license fee payers' money to create a brand new state of the art producing house and they put fucking light sensors in the studios and bloody vinyl on the recording floor. |
| (0, 1) 75 | It's a sore point! |
| (0, 1) 76 | Sometimes you pay more than peanuts and you still get fucking monkeys. |
| (0, 1) 77 | Could be worse though, the news department now has their live broadcast feed overlooking open plan unisex lavatories. |
| (0, 1) 78 | Very unfortunate incident recently had Lucy Owen still on mic whilst taking a shit as Babita Sharma read the news. |
| (0, 1) 79 | The aftermath of which was seen and heard by the nation as she conspicuously popped to the next cubicle for more toilet paper. |
| (0, 1) 80 | There we are, a bit of goss from the gloss for you. |
| (0, 1) 81 | Many more where they came from. |
| (0, 1) 82 | Anyway, moving on... |
| (0, 1) 83 | You can stop now Gwenith. |
| (0, 1) 86 | So quite simply, I will be running the session as normal and he, she or it that shows the most promise hereof will be offered a position, to start with immediate effect, next month, so you can be set up on the payroll scheme, which will be less than you imagine due to the ever rising license fee dodgers and the nature of the position. |
| (0, 1) 87 | I would ask the lucky selectee to run by the canteen before you leave today, though, and get me a cortado from our express service with a pistachio syrup shot please... it's not much to ask considering, and the least you can do. |
| (0, 1) 88 | If the others could just leave as quietly as possible and not use the facilities. |
| (0, 1) 89 | The head honcho is keen for you not to be seen but please do pop something in the donation box for this experience, that they are keen on. |
| (0, 1) 90 | Just so you know, I have fought tooth and nail for this unique interview process, and some doubted, doubted aloud in plain earshot. |
| (0, 1) 91 | A doubting Thomas... ess... |
| (0, 1) 92 | Thomestress! |
| (0, 1) 93 | Yes, one in particular, Jan Boules, but what does she know, she's local, moronic and exceedingly fat! |
| (0, 1) 94 | The lardy contents of which I believe is pressing against her tiny clit-sized pea brain and forcing her to squeeze out words that make no sense whatsoever and need discarding, like a crusty shit straight from a cat's anus. |
| (0, 1) 95 | The cat analogy is not actually important there but she does resemble one's anus. |
| (0, 1) 96 | So let's prove her chunky skull otherwise shall we and find the best man for the job? |
| (0, 1) 97 | Oh sorry, PC police, 'or woman'. |
| (0, 1) 98 | I know what you're thinking... but she is excessively fatter than that. |
| (0, 1) 100 | That doesn't even scratch the surface. |
| (0, 1) 102 | You are going to have to work harder today, the saying is true... |
| (0, 1) 103 | Thank you. |
| (0, 1) 104 | Now I say this to everyone working below me, I said it to Fabian , our previous assistant producer, and I'm saying to you, this job will send you mad but the question is, how far are you willing to go? |
| (0, 1) 105 | That should become your mantra and I will be looking for those prepared to go the extra mile. |
| (0, 1) 106 | You will be tested, and if you can't stand the heat get the fuck out of my kitchen because this is a harsh profession and I cook à la carte. |
| (0, 1) 107 | You'll see the menu works a treat and trust me, you'll thank me for it in the long run. |
| (0, 1) 108 | Now, I can safely say we didn't find anyone yesterday on our first day, yippee for you, but that does mean the pressure is on you guys today. |
| (0, 1) 109 | So, so, so... before we meet the artistes can I just let you know unfortunately we couldn't get who we wanted so just bear that in mind. |
| (0, 1) 112 | Now we do have a little time before we begin and I will always suggest arriving a little earlier to make yourself look presentable. |
| (0, 1) 113 | I can see some of you made the effort and some of you... |
| (0, 1) 114 | Well, let's go through. |
| (0, 1) 117 | If you haven't made the effort to cover up the truth before the interview, how can we trust you'll be as diligent after? |
| (0, 1) 120 | For fuck's sake! |
| (0, 1) 121 | Are you alright in there? |
| (0, 1) 122 | I don't want you marking those. |
| (Gwenith) Yes fine. | |
| (Gwenith) Dim ond cael gyfforddus. | |
| (0, 1) 126 | I don't speak Welsh. |
| (0, 1) 128 | And I'm fine with that. |
| (Gwenith) Just getting comfortable. | |
| (Gwenith) Just getting comfortable. | |
| (0, 1) 130 | Fine. |
| (0, 1) 131 | Well, can you just be careful. |
| (0, 1) 132 | Those are ergonomic, metal, leather and polished aluminium chairs with a rubberwood base. |
| (Gwenith) Ok, sorry. | |
| (Gwenith) Ok, sorry. | |
| (0, 1) 134 | They're from Indonesia. |
| (Gwenith) It's just they're a little fiddly to get into. | |
| (0, 1) 138 | Well they are a small people. |
| (0, 1) 139 | And I am sorry but I will need you to take off your shoes again. |
| (Gwenith) Sorry I forgot. | |
| (Gwenith) | |
| (0, 1) 142 | Is that part of the condition? |
| (Gwenith) Oh god, it could be. | |
| (Gwenith) Oh god, it could be. | |
| (0, 1) 144 | Shoes. |
| (0, 1) 145 | Lovely, thank you. |
| (Gwenith) {To the interns in the studio.} | |
| (Gwenith) You couldn't just give me a hand? | |
| (0, 1) 148 | Don't help her, they don't like it nowadays. |
| (0, 1) 149 | Best thing to do is just watch. |
| (0, 1) 150 | We are waiting for someone called Ivor Tittenson anyway so unless you have any questions, no? |
| (0, 1) 151 | Good. |
| (0, 1) 152 | Let's watch. |
| (0, 1) 156 | And socks today. |
| (0, 1) 158 | Honestly they love it. |
| (Gwenith) There we are. | |
| (Gwenith) There we are. | |
| (0, 1) 162 | How are you today Gwenith? |
| (Gwenith) Yes, good, thank you for asking, Alison. | |
| (Gwenith) He can't write. | |
| (0, 1) 168 | Oh well that's sweet. |
| (0, 1) 169 | I don't get pictures, Gwenith, because I chose a career instead. |
| (Gwenith) Oh I think you can have both. | |
| (Gwenith) Oh I think you can have both. | |
| (0, 1) 171 | I don't think so. |
| (Gwenith) Oh, I think you can. | |
| (Gwenith) | |
| (0, 1) 174 | Not really. |
| (Gwenith) Lots of people do. | |
| (Gwenith) Lots of people do. | |
| (0, 1) 176 | They're lying. |
| (0, 1) 177 | Anyway, it must be terribly difficult in a chair but I guess now you know what it feels like to be in a pram, so you have a lot in common. |
| (0, 1) 178 | That's a plus. |
| (0, 1) 180 | Always turn a negative into a positive. |
| (0, 1) 182 | Now I pushed you quite hard yesterday, Gwenith, so I'll ease off a bit today. |
| (0, 1) 183 | Let's give Ivor a run-around today shall we? |
| (0, 1) 184 | He needs a push in the right direction and us girls have got to stick together. |
| (Gwenith) Are you alright? | |
| (Gwenith) Are you alright? | |
| (0, 1) 187 | Yes fine. |
| (0, 1) 189 | See, the thing is, she ticked a lot of boxes so it's best to keep her onside. |
| (0, 1) 190 | We needed a disabled Welsh-speaking black actor but you tell me where we're supposed to find them? |
| (0, 1) 191 | They're all in London. |
| (0, 1) 192 | And talking of ticking boxes, don't forget that you are competing with each other. |
| (0, 1) 193 | Say hello to the person on your right and left. |
| (0, 1) 194 | Do it now. |
| (0, 1) 195 | Get to know your competition because they are potentially your worst enemy. |
| (0, 1) 196 | They may have done more prep than you. |
| (0, 1) 197 | And prep is everything. |
| (0, 1) 198 | Ask the gays. |
| (0, 1) 199 | You will be the shit on my shoe but they're expensive shoes and one day you could be wearing them. |
| (0, 1) 200 | Fuck, I'm inspired! |
| (Ivor) I'm here. | |
| (0, 2) 231 | Why are you late? |
| (Ivor) Only a little. | |
| (Ivor) Only a little. | |
| (0, 2) 233 | Why are you a little late? |
| (Ivor) I bumped into Jerry Thomas. | |
| (Ivor) | |
| (0, 2) 237 | I thought he was on holiday? |
| (Ivor) No, no, I don't think so. | |
| (Ivor) No, no, I don't think so. | |
| (0, 2) 239 | No, he definitely is. |
| (0, 2) 240 | Says in my calendar. |
| (Ivor) Is he? | |
| (Ivor) That's strange. | |
| (0, 2) 243 | Yes. |
| (0, 2) 244 | It is. |
| (Ivor) Interesting. | |
| (Ivor) What page was it? | |
| (0, 2) 250 | Don't bring your gayness into it, Ivor. |
| (0, 2) 252 | I love the gays but I didn't expect my husband to be one. |
| (0, 2) 254 | Right. |
| (0, 2) 255 | Where's this accident then? |
| (0, 2) 257 | I think I get reports, I should let people know. |
| (Ivor) It wasn't anything major. | |
| (Ivor) Who cares? | |
| (0, 2) 264 | You're deviating. |
| (0, 2) 265 | Are you alright? |
| (0, 2) 266 | You seem flustered. |
| (Ivor) Yes, no, well it was traumatic. | |
| (Ivor) Has he been here all night? | |
| (0, 2) 276 | Ignore him. |
| (0, 2) 278 | He's being punished. |
| (0, 2) 279 | Previous assistant producer, long story. |
| (0, 2) 280 | You probably heard. |
| (0, 2) 281 | But why were you late? |
| (0, 2) 282 | You must have been late for a reason. |
| (0, 2) 283 | Is everything ok at home? |
| (Ivor) Have you had your hair cut? | |
| (Ivor) Have you had your hair cut? | |
| (0, 2) 285 | No |
| (Ivor) Oh | |
| (0, 2) 288 | But thank you for noticing. |
| (0, 2) 289 | So all ok at home? |
| (Ivor) What? | |
| (Ivor) Sorry | |
| (0, 2) 301 | But why? |
| (0, 2) 302 | You've kept us waiting, so we at least deserve to know the truth. |
| (Gwenith) To be honest,I got here early so I think we started on time pretty much/ | |
| (Gwenith) To be honest,I got here early so I think we started on time pretty much/ | |
| (0, 2) 304 | /Do you want to go tune your big violin so it's ready? |
| (Gwenith) It has been tuned. | |
| (Gwenith) It has been tuned. | |
| (0, 2) 306 | It needs doing again. |
| (0, 2) 307 | I strummed it when you were throwing yourself at the trainees and the strings have gone slack. |
| (Gwenith) Throwing myself? | |
| (Gwenith) They were helping me in. | |
| (0, 2) 310 | I could see that. |
| (0, 2) 311 | I'm not sure how numb you are down there but that gentleman had his finger inside you so just be careful. |
| (0, 2) 312 | Easy target in a chair. |
| (0, 2) 313 | Don't be a drip, Gwenith. |
| (0, 2) 315 | Reverse. |
| (Ivor) I wasn't even late. | |
| (Ivor) I wasn't even late. | |
| (0, 2) 317 | Come to the window. |
| (0, 2) 318 | You're forgetting, I know you Ivor. |
| (0, 2) 319 | You're always early. |
| (0, 2) 320 | Same yesterday. |
| (0, 2) 321 | What's going on? |
| (0, 2) 322 | Few disagreements? |
| (0, 2) 323 | Things not working out? |
| (Ivor) Look, if you must know, Bastian was in the front room muscle-tongue-talking and he doesn't like to be disturbed. | |
| (Ivor) You'd think I'd learn but I forgot to get it out. | |
| (0, 2) 328 | Can't teach an old dog new tricks. |
| (0, 2) 329 | Sit down. |
| (0, 2) 330 | Slender tone? |
| (0, 2) 332 | Haven't had it long then? |
| (Ivor) Nice, Alison, nice. | |
| (Ivor) Happy now? | |
| (0, 2) 335 | Ok, let's crack on. |
| (0, 2) 336 | Sit down, Ivor. |
| (Ivor) {Through gritted teeth.} | |
| (Ivor) I'll sit when I want to sit and now I want to sit. | |
| (0, 2) 341 | Bear with. |
| (0, 2) 343 | So easy to wind up. |
| (Ivor) Bastian also wanted me to nip by Organ Gordon Juice Co and get him a detox warrior, full of vits. | |
| (Gwenith) I love making nut milk through a muslim cloth. | |
| (0, 2) 355 | We got all the main scenes done yesterday, well-done me, so it's all the poems today and just the crowd fillers, background audio and soundscape, and maybe some pick-ups. |
| (0, 2) 357 | You two can help so stay in there. |
| (0, 2) 358 | Can we position ourselves around the central mic for the sounds of excited clams. |
| (0, 2) 363 | So I'm making an executive decision here with the soundscape, because unfortunately we're not going to have the writer, Gwilym, here today. |
| (0, 2) 364 | He decided after I called him last night it's best not to come in today because of his illness, but let's not mention it to the actors and bring a dampener on the whole thing. |
| (0, 2) 365 | We'll probably get a lot more done without him anyway, so... |
| (Bethan) What illness? | |
| (Bethan) What illness? | |
| (0, 2) 367 | I have no idea, but the flakiness was definitely becoming an issue for everyone involved. |
| (0, 2) 368 | He's obviously got something. |
| (0, 2) 369 | I mean it was everywhere. |
| (0, 2) 370 | Anyway, I said let's not dwell. |
| (0, 2) 371 | We can cover all things Gwil in the debrief. |
| (0, 2) 373 | So this is to accompany 'The Walrus and The Carpenter' poem Ivor did yesterday. |
| (Ivor) Oh, can I do that again? | |
| (Ivor) I wasn't overly happy with it, so I've been thinking about some ideas over night to make it better. | |
| (0, 2) 376 | Well, we would love to hear, consider {to the interns}, then trash {back to Ivor} those ideas if we have time. |
| (0, 2) 378 | Always fool actors into thinking their ideas are valid, you don't want to lose them. |
| (0, 2) 380 | Are we all behind the marks? |
| (0, 2) 381 | Good. |
| (0, 2) 382 | The Oyster scene. |
| (0, 2) 383 | You have been lured out of the sea and promised a story by two friendly strangers: a large toothy seal who hangs out with a carpenter. |
| (0, 2) 384 | They will eventually eat you whole, in a seaman-like way. |
| (0, 2) 385 | You are excited, jolly and clammy. |
| (0, 2) 386 | We'll give you the light in a sec, bear with... |
| (0, 2) 388 | I'd like you to mark down the takes as we go. |
| (0, 2) 389 | In whatever style you've learned so we know where we are and where we can cut from and to. |
| (0, 2) 390 | We may get a clean one but that's doubtful. |
| (0, 2) 391 | Bethan will call out the numbers. |
| (Ivor) ... It just came to me late last night. | |
| (Ivor) Bastian was fast asleep in bed. | |
| (0, 2) 400 | No one wants to hear that. |
| (0, 2) 401 | Ready? |
| (Bethan) This is 72. | |
| (Bethan) This is 72. | |
| (0, 2) 411 | And again. |
| (0, 2) 412 | We'll give you the light. |
| (Bethan) This is 73. | |
| (Bethan) This is 73. | |
| (0, 2) 422 | And again. |
| (0, 2) 423 | We'll give you the light. |
| (Bethan) This is 74. | |
| (0, 2) 432 | Can I hear them individually? |
| (0, 2) 433 | Ivor? |
| (0, 2) 435 | You? |
| (0, 2) 437 | You? |
| (0, 2) 439 | Gwenith? |
| (0, 2) 441 | There it is. |
| (0, 2) 442 | Again. |
| (0, 2) 446 | Again. |
| (0, 2) 449 | Again. |
| (0, 2) 452 | Again. |
| (0, 2) 458 | Good. |
| (0, 2) 459 | Remember what I said. |
| (Ivor) What did you say? | |
| (Ivor) What did you say? | |
| (0, 2) 461 | Nosey, nosey. |
| (0, 2) 464 | Don't ask. |
| (0, 2) 466 | We'll give you the light. |