Working Not Begging

Ciw-restr ar gyfer Joanne

 
106 Sunshine through my window
107 That's what you are
108 My shining star
 
(0, 1) 112 Sometimes I wish some people would just fuck off.
(0, 1) 113 ~
(0, 1) 114 Like seriously.
(0, 1) 115 ~
(0, 1) 116 Just. fuck. off.
(0, 1) 117 ~
(0, 1) 118 Looking at me with their judgemental looks and raised eyebrows.
(0, 1) 119 ~
(0, 1) 120 Their stares.
(0, 1) 121 ~
(0, 1) 122 Judging me.
(0, 1) 123 ~
(0, 1) 124 Making up stories in their heads about who I am and what I'm doing.
(0, 1) 125 ~
(0, 1) 126 Turning their noses up and acting like they're better than me.
(0, 1) 127 ~
(0, 1) 128 Because why? they got nice tidy clothes and a warm house and a car.
(0, 1) 129 ~
(0, 1) 130 Bollocks.
(0, 1) 131 ~
(0, 1) 132 They haven't got a clue.
(0, 1) 133 ~
(0, 1) 134 They just pass me by as if I'm not there in my cardboard palace in the
(0, 1) 135 ~
(0, 1) 136 kingdom of high street.
(0, 1) 137 ~
(0, 1) 138 Don't even give me a first look, let alone a second.
(0, 1) 139 ~
(0, 1) 140 No recollection
(0, 1) 141 Acknowledgment
(0, 1) 142 Or care.
(0, 1) 143 ~
(0, 1) 144 Nothing.
(0, 1) 145 ~
(0, 1) 146 Hundreds of different characters every single day.
(0, 1) 147 And still nothing.
(0, 1) 148 ~
(0, 1) 149 Blazin arguments
(0, 1) 150 ~
(0, 1) 151 Fighting
(0, 1) 152 ~
(0, 1) 153 Kissing
(0, 1) 154 ~
(0, 1) 155 Stealing
(0, 1) 156 ~
(0, 1) 157 It all goes down here.
(0, 1) 158 ~
(0, 1) 159 All these stories.
(0, 1) 160 ~
(0, 1) 161 Get told in good ole Newport Town
(0, 1) 162 ~
(0, 1) 163 or City.
(0, 1) 164 ~
(0, 1) 165 Whichever way you wanna look at it.
(0, 1) 166 ~
(0, 1) 167 And it's those stories that make us the characters that we are.
 
(0, 1) 169 See me right.
(0, 1) 170 ~
(0, 1) 171 I'm more polite than most with my philosophy in life being I'll treat you the way you treat me.
(0, 1) 172 So if you give me the time of day, I'll give it back.
(0, 1) 173 You're nice to me, I'm nice back
(0, 1) 174 ~
(0, 1) 175 Learnt that from my nan
(0, 1) 176 ~
(0, 1) 177 And do I ever take things for granted?
(0, 1) 178 Hell no.
(0, 1) 179 You can't afford to.
(0, 1) 180 Not in this life.
(0, 1) 181 Not in my life.
(0, 1) 182 Because everything happens for a reason.
(0, 1) 183 I truly believe that.
(0, 1) 184 ~
(0, 1) 185 Now most days are the same.
(0, 1) 186 ~
(0, 1) 187 Same routine pretty much.
(0, 1) 188 ~
(0, 1) 189 Day in and day out.
(0, 1) 190 ~
(0, 1) 191 But today,
(0, 1) 192 ~
(0, 1) 193 Today is different.
(0, 1) 194 ~
(0, 1) 195 Today's THE day.
(0, 1) 196 ~
(0, 1) 197 Day 56.
(0, 1) 198 ~
(0, 1) 199 ~
(0, 1) 200 I wakes up about 6am
(0, 1) 201 ~
(0, 1) 202 Freezing my tits off
(0, 1) 203 ~
(0, 1) 204 Lips slightly blue
(0, 1) 205 ~
(0, 1) 206 My breath showing in the cold air with every exhale
(0, 1) 207 ~
(0, 1) 208 I gets dressed and chucks an extra layer on for safe keeping because we got some tail end of some hurricane is coming in tonight.
(0, 1) 209 ~
(0, 1) 210 Grabs my JD bag and wonders down to Greggs in Friars for the early morning commuters to Bristol and Cardiff.
(0, 1) 211 ~
(0, 1) 212 Great bunch to be fair.
(0, 1) 213 ~
(0, 1) 214 We're on a first name basis.
(0, 1) 215 ~
(0, 1) 216 Jennifer, Harry and Olivia.
(0, 1) 217 ~
(0, 1) 218 Sweethearts.
(0, 1) 219 ~
(0, 1) 220 They're my regulars.
(0, 1) 221 ~
(0, 1) 222 Always gets me a breakfast meal deal.
(0, 1) 223 ~
(0, 1) 224 Every day without hesitation.
(0, 1) 225 ~
(0, 1) 226 And every morning one of them will ask me what my plans for the day are.
(0, 1) 227 ~
(0, 1) 228 They get the same response
(0, 1) 229 ~
(0, 1) 230 Same old same old y'know.
(0, 1) 231 ~
(0, 1) 232 Same shit different day I goes
(0, 1) 233 ~
(0, 1) 234 But today IS different
(0, 1) 235 ~
(0, 1) 236 I goes
(0, 1) 237 ~
(0, 1) 238 Today is the the day I find out if y'know…
(0, 1) 239 ~
(0, 1) 240 They all smile and wish me the best of luck.
(0, 1) 241 ~
(0, 1) 242 You'll be fine Jo, Olivia says
(0, 1) 243 ~
(0, 1) 244 As she hands me a Bacon roll with ketchup and a black coffee.
(0, 1) 245 ~
(0, 1) 246 Same time tomorrow
(0, 1) 247 ~
(0, 1) 248 ~
(0, 1) 249 I eat that and glug the coffee to wash it down as I wander back through commercial street to the drop in centre for a shower.
(0, 1) 250 ~
(0, 1) 251 Each morning I'm there without a doubt.
(0, 1) 252 ~
(0, 1) 253 I walks through the door and Dave who runs the centre hands me a large towel and a small one for my hair.
(0, 1) 254 ~
(0, 1) 255 Heart of gold Dave has.
(0, 1) 256 ~
(0, 1) 257 He laughs because he knows what I'm here for.
(0, 1) 258 ~
(0, 1) 259 Not a day goes by that he won't see me.
(0, 1) 260 ~
(0, 1) 261 Put the kettle on I tells him as I dart into the cubicle and start running the water.
(0, 1) 262 ~
(0, 1) 263 Already beat you to it Jo, he yells in after me.
(0, 1) 264 ~
(0, 1) 265 After drying myself off I reemerge and Dave's already got a coffee waiting for me with my name on it.
(0, 1) 266 ~
(0, 1) 267 Starbucks meets Lidl.
(0, 1) 268 ~
(0, 1) 269 And I love it.
(0, 1) 270 ~
(0, 1) 271 Chocolate digestives and all.
(0, 1) 272 ~
(0, 1) 273 Every single day for the past year or so he's made the exact same cuppa.
(0, 1) 274 ~
(0, 1) 275 He knows just how I like it.
(0, 1) 276 ~
(0, 1) 277 Two extra sugars and as soon as my hand grabs the handle of the mug Dave goes without fail
(0, 1) 278 ~
(0, 1) 279 You don't need all that sugar Jo. You're sweet enough as it is.
(0, 1) 280 ~
(0, 1) 281 I says yeah well I gotta remain this sweet somehow haven't I
(0, 1) 282 ~
(0, 1) 283 He just chuckles
(0, 1) 284 ~
(0, 1) 285 Asks me how the day before was, as per usual.
(0, 1) 286 ~
(0, 1) 287 How much I made and what not, as per usual.
(0, 1) 288 ~
(0, 1) 289 Just a nice chat and a cuppa.
(0, 1) 290 ~
(0, 1) 291 It's nice.
(0, 1) 292 ~
(0, 1) 293 To be acknowledged.
 
(0, 1) 295 How you feeling? he says as he slurps his weak as piss cup of tea
(0, 1) 296 ~
(0, 1) 297 About today and all
(0, 1) 298 ~
(0, 1) 299 I dunno I goes
(0, 1) 300 ~
(0, 1) 301 Weird I guess
(0, 1) 302 ~
(0, 1) 303 I got these butterflies and that
(0, 1) 304 ~
(0, 1) 305 But yeah
(0, 1) 306 ~
(0, 1) 307 I dunno
(0, 1) 308 ~
(0, 1) 309 Wait and see
(0, 1) 310 ~
(0, 1) 311 ~
(0, 1) 312 Well the application was bang tidy so you got nothing to be nervous or worry about Dave says
(0, 1) 313 ~
(0, 1) 314 He smiles, tells me We got this
(0, 1) 315 ~
(0, 1) 316 I smile back
(0, 1) 317 ~
(0, 1) 318 He says Now are you sure you don't want me to come with you?
(0, 1) 319 ~
(0, 1) 320 I can just sit there
(0, 1) 321 ~
(0, 1) 322 Dave I say
(0, 1) 323 ~
(0, 1) 324 You got the centre to run.
(0, 1) 325 ~
(0, 1) 326 There's more people that need you more than me
(0, 1) 327 ~
(0, 1) 328 I'll be fine
(0, 1) 329 ~
(0, 1) 330 I promise.
 
(0, 1) 332 Just make sure you have the kettle on ready.
(0, 1) 333 ~
(0, 1) 334 He giggles and says deal
(0, 1) 335 ~
(0, 1) 336 Well I better shoot I tells him
(0, 1) 337 ~
(0, 1) 338 Set up and everything before I head on down
(0, 1) 339 ~
(0, 1) 340 I take a few biscuits and a packet of walkers Ready Salted.
(0, 1) 341 ~
(0, 1) 342 Stuff them in my bag for safe keeping later.
(0, 1) 343 ~
(0, 1) 344 He gives me a hug and says good luck but before he's blinked I'm away.
(0, 2) 345 Down past the job centre and onto High Street
(0, 2) 346 ~
(0, 2) 347 Turns left and I'm weaving through the stampede of early morning eager shoppers until I get to my tent and grab my stuff
(0, 2) 348 ~
(0, 2) 349 I then drift over to my regular spot next to card factory setting up shop.
(0, 2) 350 ~
(0, 2) 351 Theres even more now on these streets than ever before.
(0, 2) 352 ~
(0, 2) 353 And day in and day out they're fighting over where to set up their pitches and their tents and what doorways to take shelter under.
(0, 2) 354 ~
(0, 2) 355 But I try as best I can to stay well out of those politics
(0, 2) 356 ~
(0, 2) 357 Just keeps myself to myself.
(0, 2) 358 ~
(0, 2) 359 Easier that way.
(0, 2) 360 ~
(0, 2) 361 ~
(0, 2) 362 This spot right here is MY spot.
(0, 2) 363 ~
(0, 2) 364 That's why I set up so early.
(0, 2) 365 ~
(0, 2) 366 So no fucker else nabs it.
(0, 2) 367 ~
(0, 2) 368 Perfect spot if I say so myself as I'm smack bang at a junction of high street.
(0, 2) 369 ~
(0, 2) 370 People coming from left, right and centre.
(0, 2) 371 ~
(0, 2) 372 So I lay down my cardboard, dump my bag and set up shop before I head off down to the housing office.
(0, 2) 373 ~
(0, 2) 374 Back through the kingdom of High Street passing the run down buildings and abandoned shops until I come to a stop outside the housing office.
(0, 2) 375 ~
(0, 2) 376 Just looking at it from the outside makes the butterflies in my stomach suddenly go all crazy.
(0, 2) 377 ~
(0, 2) 378 Flapping around all over the place.
(0, 2) 379 ~
(0, 2) 380 And not in a nice first date kinda way where theres this excitement as to whats going to happen next.
(0, 2) 381 ~
(0, 2) 382 It's in a crushing way as if the butterflies are trying to destroy me from the
(0, 2) 383 ~
(0, 2) 384 inside out.
 
(0, 2) 386 I push open the door after my first attempt at pulling fails.
(0, 2) 387 ~
(0, 2) 388 Walks in and goes straight over to reception
(0, 2) 389 ~
(0, 2) 390 Much to the stares of the people sat down waiting.
(0, 2) 391 ~
(0, 2) 392 The same stares and whispers I've become accustomed to.
(0, 2) 393 ~
(0, 2) 394 Joanne Chapman I say to the lady behind the desk who looks like she's pain'ted her face on in an early morning rush at 7am.
(0, 2) 395 ~
(0, 2) 396 I got a nine o clock appointment.
(0, 2) 397 ~
(0, 2) 398 The lady behind the desk, snobby cow she is, just hands me a ticket stub and says in a dismissive way
(0, 2) 399 ~
(0, 2) 400 ßTake a seatß
(0, 2) 401 ~
(0, 2) 402 So I do
(0, 2) 403 ~
(0, 2) 404 I sits there with stub number 8 in my hand waiting for my number to be called.
(0, 2) 405 ~
(0, 2) 406 Number 6 please
(0, 2) 407 ~
(0, 2) 408 Looking around at the people in the waiting area and everyones avoiding eye contact.
(0, 2) 409 ~
(0, 2) 410 As soon as I look their way their eyes shoot for the ground.
(0, 2) 411 ~
(0, 2) 412 I softly smile at the guy opposite me.
(0, 2) 413 Trendy looking guy with cool white Nikes and beautiful blue eyes.
(0, 2) 414 He's having none of it though.
(0, 2) 415 Straight to his phone screen his eyes shoot.
(0, 2) 416 ~
(0, 2) 417 And although I may not hear the whispers of the others I still see them.
(0, 2) 418 ~
(0, 2) 419 In their faces.
(0, 2) 420 ~
(0, 2) 421 Judgement and ignorance.
(0, 2) 422 It's a toxic mix.
(0, 2) 423 ~
(0, 2) 424 But whatever.
(0, 2) 425 ~
(0, 2) 426 Fuck it.
 
(0, 2) 428 I remain quiet.
(0, 2) 429 Sitting there
(0, 2) 430 In my own world
(0, 2) 431 Minding my own business
(0, 2) 432 ~
(0, 2) 433 Just waiting and waiting
(0, 2) 434 For what seems like a lifetime.
(0, 2) 435 ~
(0, 2) 436 A few looks I can catch out the corner of my eye
(0, 2) 437 ~
(0, 2) 438 ~
(0, 2) 439 Looking at what you're doing.
(0, 2) 440 Looking at their possessions.
(0, 2) 441 Creating stories in their heads.
(0, 2) 442 About who I am.
(0, 2) 443 Why I'm here.
(0, 2) 444 How I got here.
 
(0, 2) 446 I'm up.
(0, 2) 447 Straight in the booth.
(0, 2) 448 Greeted by Mark as his name badge tells me
(0, 2) 449 He quickly begins with
(0, 2) 450 ~
(0, 2) 451 ßMorning Miss Chapmanß
(0, 2) 452 ßI'm/ß
(0, 2) 453 ~
(0, 2) 454 /Let me stop you there Mark
(0, 2) 455 ~
(0, 2) 456 Before we start I just want to say that I'm not one of those fussy fuckers alright.
(0, 2) 457 I'll go anywhere in Newport
(0, 2) 458 House or flat mind
(0, 2) 459 I don't care what place in Newport I get today like, as long as I got a roof over my head and I got a place I can call home
(0, 2) 460 Then I'm happy
(0, 2) 461 ~
(0, 2) 462 Mark just stares at me
(0, 2) 463 A blank stare
(0, 2) 464 ~
(0, 2) 465 Right into my soul
(0, 2) 466 ~
(0, 2) 467 Exhales with a real huff
(0, 2) 468 Shuffles his papers a bit
(0, 2) 469 And says
(0, 2) 470 ~
(0, 2) 471 ßI'm really sorry Miss Chapman but after a review of your application the housing office have deemed you non priority for immediate rehousingß
(0, 2) 472 ßOn this occasion you won't be rehoused in permanent accommodation in Newport/ß
(0, 2) 473 ~
(0, 2) 474 /I'm sorry what?
(0, 2) 475 ~
(0, 2) 476 ßI understand this will mark the end of the 56 day duty of care we have to house you.ß
(0, 2) 477 ßBUT I can give you information on new housing options in LEICESTER if you're interested/ß
(0, 2) 478 ~
(0, 2) 479 What do you mean Leicester?
(0, 2) 480 Is this a joke?
(0, 2) 481 ßI'm afraid not Miss Chapman/ß
(0, 2) 482 ~
(0, 2) 483 /So what now? My 56 days are up so I'm just on my own? just gotta stay on the streets?
(0, 2) 484 ~
(0, 2) 485 ßI'm afraid so but please do consider the option of Leicester. Your application was indeed strong and we understand you were unintentionally made homeless but there were more priority applican'ts during this/ß
(0, 2) 486 ~
(0, 2) 487 /So what makes me priority then?
(0, 2) 488 ~
(0, 2) 489 ßUm well diagnosed mental health issues, physical impairments, pregnancy/ß
(0, 2) 490 ~
(0, 2) 491 /What? So if I go and get myself knocked up I can get a house is what you're saying
(0, 2) 492 ~
(0, 2) 493 …
(0, 2) 494 ~
(0, 2) 495 Well it is isn't it
(0, 2) 496 ~
(0, 2) 497 That or flipping Leicester is the next best option?
(0, 2) 498 That's pretty much what you're saying to me
(0, 2) 499 Isn't it
(0, 2) 500 Football and Cheese
(0, 2) 501 Great
(0, 2) 502 ~
(0, 2) 503 I can't just leave and go to pissing Leicester.
(0, 2) 504 ~
(0, 2) 505 ßIf you could please calm down miss/ß
(0, 2) 506 ~
(0, 2) 507 /NO I won't calm down.
(0, 2) 508 You're literally telling me I'm not good enough
(0, 2) 509 Not worthy enough of a home.
(0, 2) 510 A house of my own.
(0, 2) 511 In my own hometown.
(0, 2) 512 ~
(0, 2) 513 ßNo Miss Chapman. We're not saying that.ß
(0, 2) 514 ~
(0, 2) 515 So what are you saying then!?
(0, 2) 516 ~
(0, 2) 517 ßJust on this occasion you were unsuccessful.ß
(0, 2) 518 ßThere are opportunities in Leicester thoughß
(0, 2) 519 ~
(0, 2) 520 It's besides the point I can't just leave to go to Leicester
(0, 2) 521 Would you just up and leave?
(0, 2) 522 ~
(0, 2) 523 ßIt would only be temporaryß
(0, 2) 524 ßSo you would just have to re-apply when new housing becomes available here.ß
(0, 2) 525 ßYou can always reapply.ß
(0, 2) 526 ~
(0, 2) 527 Reapply?
(0, 2) 528 ~
(0, 2) 529 Do you know how long it took me and the support guys to do this application!?
(0, 2) 530 How far away Leicester is?
(0, 2) 531 ~
(0, 2) 532 No
(0, 2) 533 I'm not doing another application.
(0, 2) 534 ~
(0, 2) 535 ßIf you would please lower your voice?ß
(0, 2) 536 ~
(0, 2) 537 No I won't fucking lower my voice
(0, 2) 538 It's fine for you with your cushty job, secure wages and your house you get to go home to.
(0, 2) 539 What about me though?
(0, 2) 540 ~
(0, 2) 541 And its at this point that Mark tosses a glance over to the jacked up security guard with no neck for help.
(0, 2) 542 ~
(0, 2) 543 And before I know it I got a 6ft top heavy sloth who clearly skips leg day at the gym breathing down my neck
(0, 2) 544 ~
(0, 2) 545 Pointing to the sign attached to the booth
(0, 2) 546 As a warning of sorts
(0, 2) 547 ~
(0, 2) 548 Abuse is NOT part of the job
(0, 2) 549 Our staff will not tolerate abuse.
(0, 2) 550 Any abusive behaviour will be dealt with accordingly
(0, 2) 551 I just glance at the meat head beside me
(0, 2) 552 Look him up and down
(0, 2) 553 And I goes
(0, 2) 554 Go and have another protein shake mate
(0, 2) 555 ~
(0, 2) 556 But before I can continue my conversation with Mark
(0, 2) 557 ~
(0, 2) 558 The security guard grabs my arm and I jolt up out of the chair like I've had an electric shock.
(0, 2) 559 ~
(0, 2) 560 I say
(0, 2) 561 ~
(0, 2) 562 Dont touch me
(0, 2) 563 ~
(0, 2) 564 Don't you put your fucking hands on me mate
(0, 2) 565 ~
(0, 2) 566 He says ßmadam calm down, you'll have to come with meß
(0, 2) 567 ~
(0, 2) 568 I don't HAVE to go anywhere I say I haven't finished my conversation yet so back off yeah
(0, 2) 569 ~
(0, 2) 570 And the energy in the room is weird
(0, 2) 571 As so many people are doing the usual darting their eyes to the ground or keeping their eyes transfixed on their phone screens.
(0, 2) 572 On whatever game they're playing or article they're reading.
(0, 2) 573 Anything BUT to look at what's going on.
(0, 2) 574 ~
(0, 2) 575 Mr Nike sat there laughing, discreetly trying to record the commotion that's going on on his phone.
(0, 2) 576 ~
(0, 2) 577 The security guard is edging closer
(0, 2) 578 ~
(0, 2) 579 ßI'll have to escort you outsideß
(0, 2) 580 ~
(0, 2) 581 I goes will you fuck
(0, 2) 582 ~
(0, 2) 583 I wanna know from Mark why I'm not good enough for a house
(0, 2) 584 ~
(0, 2) 585 Why I'm not priority
(0, 2) 586 ~
(0, 2) 587 But Mark is just sat there fiddling with papers, trying his absolute best not to say anything.
(0, 2) 588 ~
(0, 2) 589 The security guard lunges towards me
(0, 2) 590 ~
(0, 2) 591 I'm screaming
(0, 2) 592 ~
(0, 2) 593 Get your grubby hands off me
(0, 2) 594 ~
(0, 2) 595 Don't you fucking touch me
(0, 2) 596 ~
(0, 2) 597 I'll bring this whole fucking place to the ground yeah
(0, 2) 598 ~
(0, 2) 599 And some fat old lady in the waiting area pipes up and snaps
(0, 2) 600 ~
(0, 2) 601 ßWill you watch your language. I have kids here.ß
(0, 2) 602 ~
(0, 2) 603 Uh are you shitting me? I goes to her
(0, 2) 604 ~
(0, 2) 605 You really think I give a fuck how you feel about my language?
(0, 2) 606 ~
(0, 2) 607 How any of you feel?
(0, 2) 608 ~
(0, 2) 609 And some of the eyes start peering up from the phones to see this action
(0, 2) 610 ~
(0, 2) 611 To each and everyone of you who are sat there making comments in your minds, passing judgement on my language and the way I go about my life this {Jo sticks up her middle finger} right here is for you.
(0, 2) 612 ~
(0, 2) 613 Yeah you see someone like me with some scruffy clothes on and a little bit of bad language and straight away you think oh what a foul mouthed drunk.
(0, 2) 614 ~
(0, 2) 615 What a bum.
(0, 2) 616 ~
(0, 2) 617 Well screw you all.
(0, 2) 618 ~
(0, 2) 619 You don't know shit about what I'm going through
(0, 2) 620 ~
(0, 2) 621 What I've been through
(0, 2) 622 ~
(0, 2) 623 I'm a human being
(0, 2) 624 ~
(0, 2) 625 Just like all of you.
(0, 2) 626 ~
(0, 2) 627 So go ahead.
(0, 2) 628 ~
(0, 2) 629 Judge.
(0, 2) 630 ~
(0, 2) 631 Make comments and tell me to mind my language.
(0, 2) 632 ~
(0, 2) 633 But take a long hard look in the mirror before you do yeah.
 
(0, 2) 635 ßOh just get her out of hereß The fat lady screeches
(0, 2) 636 ~
(0, 2) 637 The security guard begins to charge and tackle
(0, 2) 638 ~
(0, 2) 639 Grabs my arm
(0, 2) 640 ~
(0, 2) 641 I starts kicking over chairs
(0, 2) 642 ~
(0, 2) 643 Screaming in his face
(0, 2) 644 ~
(0, 2) 645 You juiced up prick.
(0, 2) 646 ~
(0, 2) 647 Wanker.
(0, 2) 648 ~
(0, 2) 649 But he's got a grip so tight on my arm
(0, 2) 650 ~
(0, 2) 651 My circulation is getting cut off as he's dragging me through the housing centre
(0, 2) 652 ~
(0, 2) 653 To the double doors.
(0, 2) 654 ~
(0, 2) 655 He opens them and tosses me out.
(0, 2) 656 ~
(0, 2) 657 Straight to the ground.
(0, 2) 658 ~
(0, 2) 659 Like he's taking out the rubbish.
(0, 2) 660 ~
(0, 2) 661 Throws my bag next to me.
 
(0, 2) 663 Oh I bet you think you're a real hard man
(0, 2) 664 ~
(0, 2) 665 He just looks at me.
 
(0, 2) 667 Help me.
(0, 2) 668 ~
(0, 2) 669 I say to him.
(0, 2) 670 ~
(0, 2) 671 Please.
(0, 2) 672 ~
(0, 2) 673 But the doors already shut in my face.
 
(0, 2) 675 Prick
(0, 3) 676 I brush myself off and get my shit together
 
(0, 3) 678 Cars are slowing down by the lights to see what commotion has just happened
(0, 3) 679 ~
(0, 3) 680 Another morning in Newport I yell
(0, 3) 681 ~
(0, 3) 682 I go to re-enter
(0, 3) 683 Get proper answers like
(0, 3) 684 But as I look through the door I can already see the receptionist and Mr Juice-head on the phone whilst they're staring at me.
(0, 3) 685 ~
(0, 3) 686 To see what I'm doing
(0, 3) 687 ~
(0, 3) 688 Fuck this
(0, 3) 689 AND FUCK YOU
(0, 3) 690 ~
(0, 3) 691 I'm off
(0, 3) 692 Strolling across the road to the sound of beeps
(0, 3) 693 past Courtyard and down towards Tesco.
(0, 3) 694 ~
(0, 3) 695 The buildings and shops
(0, 3) 696 The history
(0, 3) 697 Taking it all in.
(0, 3) 698 The memories
(0, 3) 699 The stories behind them all
(0, 3) 700 ~
(0, 3) 701 Steals a fag off the Tesco employees on break outside.
(0, 3) 702 ~
(0, 3) 703 Puffing away I go round the corner and onto high street.
(0, 3) 704 ~
(0, 3) 705 Wandering through the crowd towards my pitch
(0, 3) 706 ~
(0, 3) 707 I get to my pitch and look at it in its glory
(0, 3) 708 Triumphant as it stands there proud
(0, 3) 709 My business
(0, 3) 710 My pitch
 
(0, 3) 712 I grab a handful of loom bands and start throwing them into the crowd of passer by's
(0, 3) 713 Take a loom band I yell out
(0, 3) 714 Give a loom band to a loved one
(0, 3) 715 ~
(0, 3) 716 And anyone would think I have the plague as people are actively avoiding me as I'm dispersing of my looms
(0, 3) 717 ~
(0, 3) 718 Chasing people down high street
(0, 3) 719 ~
(0, 3) 720 Here please take one.
(0, 3) 721 Honestly no charge
(0, 3) 722 Just have it
(0, 3) 723 ~
(0, 3) 724 Two old ladies with their trolleys outside poundland take a handful of looms off me and tell me to have a lovely day
(0, 3) 725 ~
(0, 3) 726 And no sooner am I back to get more and I have a very smartly dressed gent with a poor excuse for a beard peering his eyes over me
(0, 3) 727 ~
(0, 3) 728 I recognise him instantly
(0, 3) 729 He's part of this club
(0, 3) 730 ~
(0, 3) 731 The vultures I call them
(0, 3) 732 Out here doing the councils dirty work
(0, 3) 733 ~
(0, 3) 734 ßExcuse me missß he chirps up with
(0, 3) 735 ßI'm going to have to ask you to pack this awayß
(0, 3) 736 ~
(0, 3) 737 Whose asking?
(0, 3) 738 ~
(0, 3) 739 ßChris.ß
(0, 3) 740 ßCommunity Support Officer.ß
(0, 3) 741 ~
(0, 3) 742 And he flashes his badge to me like a shit version of a wannabe police officer.
 
(0, 3) 744 Right
(0, 3) 745 ~
(0, 3) 746 ßI'm going to have to ask you/ß
(0, 3) 747 ~
(0, 3) 748 /Yeah I heard you the first time.
(0, 3) 749 Why have I got to pack this away?
(0, 3) 750 ~
(0, 3) 751 ßWell you're disturbing the peace with your current actionsß
(0, 3) 752 ~
(0, 3) 753 Ha
(0, 3) 754 Very funny
(0, 3) 755 They're just loom bands
(0, 3) 756 No trouble
(0, 3) 757 Could be worse like
(0, 3) 758 ~
(0, 3) 759 ßEven so I can't allow you to carry onß
(0, 3) 760 ßgiven that you are within ten meters of that ATM over thereß
(0, 3) 761 ~
(0, 3) 762 Chris don't take the piss ok
(0, 3) 763 I've had a really shit morning and I was just getting rid of my bands
(0, 3) 764 Really wasn't hurting anyone
(0, 3) 765 Christ I could be drunk and disorderly at 11 in the morning
(0, 3) 766 ~
(0, 3) 767 ßUnder the Anti-Social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act 2014ß
(0, 3) 768 ßI am now issuing you with a Public Space Protection Order/ß
(0, 3) 769 ~
(0, 3) 770 /What?
(0, 3) 771 ~
(0, 3) 772 ßPlease don't interruptß
(0, 3) 773 ~
(0, 3) 774 But what's a Public Space Thingy Magiggy?
(0, 3) 775 ~
(0, 3) 776 ßAll the information is on the back of your orderß
 
(0, 3) 778 Well you can take your bit of paper {Jo begins to rip it up} and shove it
(0, 3) 779 I've done nothing wrong
(0, 3) 780 You're going to write me up for giving out loom bands
(0, 3) 781 Get a grip
(0, 3) 782 ~
(0, 3) 783 ßI really wish you hadn't of done thatß
(0, 3) 784 ßNon compliance results in immediate police actionß
 
(0, 3) 786 Police action?
(0, 3) 787 For ripping up some paper
(0, 3) 788 Mate you see me around here all the time.
(0, 3) 789 I've been here for ages
(0, 3) 790 The loom band lady
(0, 3) 791 ~
(0, 3) 792 ßYes.ß
(0, 3) 793 ßBut we are clamping down on nuisances in the cityß
(0, 3) 794 ~
(0, 3) 795 Nuisances?
(0, 3) 796 Are you taking the piss?
(0, 3) 797 I don't bother anyone
 
(0, 3) 799 I mind my own business yeah
(0, 3) 800 I'm not a nuisance
 
(0, 3) 802 I make flipping loom bands for crying out loud
 
(0, 3) 804 Just give me a break.
(0, 3) 805 I'm working not begging.
(0, 3) 806 ~
(0, 3) 807 He just looks at me and smugly giggles to himself
(0, 3) 808 ~
(0, 3) 809 ßI don't make the rulesß
(0, 3) 810 ßI simply follow them.ß
(0, 3) 811 ßMaybe you should try it.ß
(0, 3) 812 ßAnd then you wouldn't be in this predicamentß
(0, 3) 813 ~
(0, 3) 814 Aw go and Fu/
(0, 3) 815 ~
(0, 3) 816 ß/You have until I finish my current rounds on high streetß
(0, 3) 817 ßThen I will be backß
(0, 3) 818 ßWith the authoritiesß
(0, 3) 819 ßAnd I strongly advise that you not be here when i returnß
(0, 3) 820 ßNow have a good day.ß
(0, 3) 821 ßAnd clear away your pitchß
(0, 3) 822 ~
(0, 3) 823 And like a dementor he slithers into the crowd of people passing through High Street to pick out another target.
(0, 3) 824 To suck the life outta them.
(0, 3) 825 ~
(0, 3) 826 Judge, jury and executioner.
(0, 3) 827 ~
(0, 3) 828 I just let the pitch sit there for a moment.
(0, 3) 829 In all its glory.
 
(0, 4) 834 And suddenly I'm 12 years old back in the front of the car with nan
(0, 4) 835 On our way to Barry Island.
(0, 4) 836 Suns blazing
(0, 4) 837 Windows down.
(0, 4) 838 Gabrielle's on full blast
 
(0, 4) 841 I'm not making plans for tomorrow
(0, 4) 842 Let's live for tonight
(0, 4) 843 I know you want me baby
(0, 4) 844 So hold me so tight
(0, 4) 845 Put your arms around me
(0, 4) 846 You make me feel so safe
(0, 4) 847 Then you whisper in my ear
(0, 4) 848 That you're here to stay
 
(0, 4) 850 Nan you're always gunna be here to stay ri(ght)
(0, 4) 851 ~
(0, 4) 852 Of course I am sweetheart
(0, 4) 853 ~
(0, 4) 854 Always and forever
(0, 4) 855 ~
(0, 4) 856 Now here's a fiver
(0, 4) 857 Hurry up before someone nabs our lucky machine
(0, 4) 858 I'm right behind you.
(0, 4) 859 ~
(0, 4) 860 Nan's off parking the car and paying for the display ticket
(0, 4) 861 I'm gone.
(0, 4) 862 She knows where to find me
 
(0, 4) 864 Through the arcade doors
(0, 4) 865 ~
(0, 4) 866 And up to the change machine
(0, 4) 867 I pops the fiver in the machine and out pour 2ps
(0, 4) 868 grab two tubs and wait as they fill up
(0, 4) 869 I carry on straight to the 10p horse racers
(0, 4) 870 Take a right and go to end and find the 2p machines.
(0, 4) 871 The last but one nearest the window.
(0, 4) 872 Our lucky machine.
(0, 4) 873 You can give it a nudge or a little kick when the prize is hanging on the edge
(0, 4) 874 Just to tip it over
(0, 4) 875 And the alarms won't go off
(0, 4) 876 ~
(0, 4) 877 2p after 2p
(0, 4) 878 I start
(0, 4) 879 Watching as the prize crawls closer and closer towards the drop zone.
(0, 4) 880 ~
(0, 4) 881 Nan places her hand on my shoulder How you getting on? she says gently
(0, 4) 882 ~
(0, 4) 883 Not bad.
(0, 4) 884 Theres that Minnie mouse keyring I'm aiming for.
(0, 4) 885 It's got something attached to it.
(0, 4) 886 Like two prizes in one.
(0, 4) 887 ~
(0, 4) 888 She grabs the spare tub
(0, 4) 889 Mine I take it?
(0, 4) 890 ~
(0, 4) 891 Well yeah.
(0, 4) 892 C'mon nan that keyring ain't gunna move itself
(0, 4) 893 ~
(0, 4) 894 She giggles at me
(0, 4) 895 Yes boss.
(0, 4) 896 ~
(0, 4) 897 She starts popping 2p's in the machine as well
(0, 4) 898 and Minnie starts nudging closer and closer
(0, 4) 899 ~
(0, 4) 900 Almost there nan
(0, 4) 901 We almost got it
 
(0, 4) 903 How're you so good at this?
(0, 4) 904 ~
(0, 4) 905 Well
(0, 4) 906 I tell you this everytime
(0, 4) 907 There's a trick
(0, 4) 908 ~
(0, 4) 909 A trick?
(0, 4) 910 ~
(0, 4) 911 Yeah.
(0, 4) 912 ~
(0, 4) 913 Time and patience
(0, 4) 914 As soon as the back starts coming forward
(0, 4) 915 THEN you pop the 2p in
(0, 4) 916 And it'll fall into the gap
(0, 4) 917 And
(0, 4) 918 Wallah
 
(0, 4) 920 Now you try it?
(0, 4) 921 Be patient
(0, 4) 922 Good things come to those who wait remember
(0, 4) 923 ~
(0, 4) 924 Yes nan
(0, 4) 925 I remember
(0, 4) 926 Like this?
 
(0, 4) 928 Oh darling.
(0, 4) 929 You're so close.
(0, 4) 930 It's on the edge.
(0, 4) 931 ~
(0, 4) 932 Shall I kick it?
(0, 4) 933 ~
(0, 4) 934 Yeah. Go on.
(0, 4) 935 No one's watching.
(0, 4) 936 ~
(0, 4) 937 And as nan stands guard I give it a gentle boot
(0, 4) 938 And down Minnie falls
 
(0, 4) 940 Look nan
(0, 4) 941 She's got bracelets attached.
(0, 4) 942 ~
(0, 4) 943 Well aren't you lucky she says as she's getting her purse out
(0, 4) 944 ~
(0, 4) 945 Yeah.
(0, 4) 946 One for me and one for you.
(0, 4) 947 Team effort after all.
(0, 4) 948 ~
(0, 4) 949 I'm now buzzing because that's one of the first times I've won anything.
(0, 4) 950 Sports day, Eisteddfod
(0, 4) 951 Nothing.
(0, 4) 952 And as we leave the arcade I give Nan her bracelet
(0, 4) 953 A red and white one
(0, 4) 954 We walk down the front and grab Fish and Chips.
(0, 4) 955 Extra vinegar so theres a pool at the bottom of the cone.
(0, 4) 956 The chips go all soggy.
(0, 4) 957 Love that.
(0, 4) 958 Ice cream for dessert with the sandy breeze blowing through my hair and the taste of the sea filling the air around me.
(0, 4) 959 Can taste the sand in the ice cream
(0, 4) 960 ~
(0, 4) 961 Nan
(0, 4) 962 What d'you dream of?
(0, 4) 963 ~
(0, 4) 964 That's random Jo
(0, 4) 965 ~
(0, 4) 966 Well nah, y'know Gabrielle sings of dreams so
(0, 4) 967 Just wondering what yours are like
(0, 4) 968 ~
(0, 4) 969 Well
(0, 4) 970 I dream of retiring and of you growing up and living for the moment
(0, 4) 971 Making the most out of life
(0, 4) 972 because we never know what's going to happen
 
(0, 4) 974 You know how time is the most precious thing
(0, 4) 975 You have to make the most out of life so that's my dream
(0, 4) 976 That you live life to the fullest
 
(0, 4) 978 And I'll still be wearing this band when I do.
(0, 4) 979 Retire that is.
(0, 4) 980 ~
(0, 4) 981 Well of course.
(0, 4) 982 You can't ever take it off now.
(0, 4) 983 We're stuck together.
(0, 4) 984 Just you and me
(0, 4) 985 ~
(0, 4) 986 I won't.
(0, 4) 987 ~
(0, 4) 988 I promise.
(0, 4) 989 But what about you?
(0, 4) 990 What's your dreams?
 
(0, 5) 1060 Sandra goes to get out her purse
(0, 5) 1061 ~
(0, 5) 1062 No charge I say
(0, 5) 1063 ~
(0, 5) 1064 She looks at me all puzzled
(0, 5) 1065 ~
(0, 5) 1066 Continuing to rummage through her purse for change.
(0, 5) 1067 ~
(0, 5) 1068 I remain adamant
(0, 5) 1069 ~
(0, 5) 1070 No charge
(0, 5) 1071 ~
(0, 5) 1072 It's not just the fact that I feel for her and her pain or that she took the time to talk to me.
(0, 5) 1073 ~
(0, 5) 1074 Treat me like everyone else.
(0, 5) 1075 ~
(0, 5) 1076 Like a person.
(0, 5) 1077 ~
(0, 5) 1078 A human being
(0, 5) 1079 ~
(0, 5) 1080 That's something to me that money can't buy.
(0, 5) 1081 ~
(0, 5) 1082 That's being genuine.
(0, 5) 1083 ~
(0, 5) 1084 Please Please Please she mutters
(0, 5) 1085 ~
(0, 5) 1086 Just take a little something
(0, 5) 1087 ~
(0, 5) 1088 I hold her hand and close it with the money still in her palm and say seriously
(0, 5) 1089 ~
(0, 5) 1090 no charge.
(0, 5) 1091 ~
(0, 5) 1092 They got to go anyway
(0, 5) 1093 ~
(0, 5) 1094 I hand her the loom bands and say
(0, 5) 1095 ~
(0, 5) 1096 Just always wear them and that way you'll all be connected through whatever shit is going on at the moment.
(0, 5) 1097 You'll always be a part of each other.
(0, 5) 1098 Forever and always.
(0, 5) 1099 ~
(0, 5) 1100 She takes the pink bands from me and says to me in a tender tone
(0, 5) 1101 ~
(0, 5) 1102 What's your name darling?
(0, 5) 1103 ~
(0, 5) 1104 Joanne I reply but my friends call me Jo
(0, 5) 1105 ~
(0, 5) 1106 Well Joanne she says as she's packing away her purse and her loom bands into her handbag
(0, 5) 1107 ~
(0, 5) 1108 Thank you
(0, 5) 1109 ~
(0, 5) 1110 I watch her disappear through High Street and think that's my good deed for the day done.
(0, 5) 1111 ~
(0, 5) 1112 I starts gathering up the rest of the bands into the carrier bag and packing away my stall.
(0, 5) 1113 ~
(0, 5) 1114 Folds my cardboard up and I'm away
(0, 5) 1115 ~
(0, 5) 1116 Back down High Street to drop my stuff off
(0, 5) 1117 ~
(0, 5) 1118 Gets to my tent and unzips her.
(0, 5) 1119 ~
(0, 5) 1120 Plonks my stuff straight in and I'm off again.
(0, 5) 1121 ~
(0, 5) 1122 To the drop in centre
(0, 5) 1123 ~
(0, 5) 1124 To break it to Dave.
(0, 6) 1125 Back up past the Job Centre I dart
(0, 6) 1126 ~
(0, 6) 1127 Jo
(0, 6) 1128 ~
(0, 6) 1129 Screams Benny who's coming out of the Job Centre all smiles and no teeth
(0, 6) 1130 ~
(0, 6) 1131 Not now Benny I yell back at him
(0, 6) 1132 ~
(0, 6) 1133 But he's chasing me up the hill
(0, 6) 1134 ~
(0, 6) 1135 Fuck sake Benny
(0, 6) 1136 ~
(0, 6) 1137 I got some new gear he says as he's struggling for breath climbing this hill
(0, 6) 1138 ~
(0, 6) 1139 Trainers and hoodies and that.
(0, 6) 1140 ~
(0, 6) 1141 You'll have to come and have a look
(0, 6) 1142 ~
(0, 6) 1143 Yeah Yeah Benny I goes
(0, 6) 1144 ~
(0, 6) 1145 Will do
(0, 6) 1146 ~
(0, 6) 1147 But by this point I'm Usain Bolt
(0, 6) 1148 ~
(0, 6) 1149 Sprinting up the hill
(0, 6) 1150 ~
(0, 6) 1151 As Benny's voice is an echo in the distance
(0, 6) 1152 ~
(0, 6) 1153 I turn left at the corner and smash through the doors of the centre
(0, 6) 1154 ~
(0, 6) 1155 Straight into the hall and I put my bag down on the chair
(0, 6) 1156 ~
(0, 6) 1157 Oh no that's not a good face says Dave
(0, 6) 1158 ~
(0, 6) 1159 The kettles on. I'll grab the biscuits.
(0, 6) 1160 ~
(0, 6) 1161 Well how did it go at the housing office first?
(0, 6) 1162 ~
(0, 6) 1163 Good news I hope
 
(0, 6) 1165 Shit.
(0, 6) 1166 ~
(0, 6) 1167 Yeah
(0, 6) 1168 ~
(0, 6) 1169 Working Not Begging 31
(0, 6) 1170 The housing office.
(0, 6) 1171 ~
(0, 6) 1172 It was
(0, 6) 1173 ~
(0, 6) 1174 Well it didn't go as planned
(0, 6) 1175 ~
(0, 6) 1176 What you mean Dave says to me baffled
(0, 6) 1177 ~
(0, 6) 1178 Leicester.
(0, 6) 1179 ~
(0, 6) 1180 They offered me a place in Leicester
(0, 6) 1181 ~
(0, 6) 1182 I mean.
(0, 6) 1183 ~
(0, 6) 1184 I'm not priority apparently.
(0, 6) 1185 ~
(0, 6) 1186 For newport anyway.
(0, 6) 1187 ~
(0, 6) 1188 There were stronger applications this round.
(0, 6) 1189 ~
(0, 6) 1190 I can go to Leicester though.
(0, 6) 1191 ~
(0, 6) 1192 That's a possibility.
(0, 6) 1193 ~
(0, 6) 1194 Lots of cases are being referred to there.
(0, 6) 1195 ~
(0, 6) 1196 Dave's just looking around all confused
(0, 6) 1197 ~
(0, 6) 1198 Leicester he says
(0, 6) 1199 ~
(0, 6) 1200 But thats miles away.
(0, 6) 1201 ~
(0, 6) 1202 Theres got to be a mistake he rages
(0, 6) 1203 ~
(0, 6) 1204 We'll appeal
(0, 6) 1205 ~
(0, 6) 1206 Get it all sorted.
(0, 6) 1207 ~
(0, 6) 1208 He pops my cuppa down next to me.
(0, 6) 1209 ~
(0, 6) 1210 But doesn't make any jokes this time as my hand grabs the handle.
(0, 6) 1211 ~
(0, 6) 1212 What's the point Dave?
(0, 6) 1213 ~
(0, 6) 1214 I mean I got no home to go to
(0, 6) 1215 No business
(0, 6) 1216 No trips to Barry
(0, 6) 1217 What? He buts in with
(0, 6) 1218 ~
(0, 6) 1219 I can take you to Barry
 
(0, 6) 1221 What's happened with that the business then?
(0, 6) 1222 ~
(0, 6) 1223 I got handed this PSPO thing
(0, 6) 1224 ~
(0, 6) 1225 Dave's shaking his head
(0, 6) 1226 ~
(0, 6) 1227 I got given one of them after the housing office earlier.
(0, 6) 1228 Didn't catch me at the best of times
(0, 6) 1229 ~
(0, 6) 1230 They've got no right Jo
(0, 6) 1231 So where is it
(0, 6) 1232 ~
(0, 6) 1233 Well I ripped it up in this guys face
(0, 6) 1234 ~
(0, 6) 1235 Dave, chuckling away to himself goes what are you like Jo
(0, 6) 1236 ~
(0, 6) 1237 Well apparently I'm a "nuisance" to the public
(0, 6) 1238 Which is complete and utter shit Dave
(0, 6) 1239 ~
(0, 6) 1240 I knows that he says
(0, 6) 1241 You don't bother anyone
(0, 6) 1242 I knows that
(0, 6) 1243 We all know that
(0, 6) 1244 ~
(0, 6) 1245 Exactly I says to him
(0, 6) 1246 ~
(0, 6) 1247 I said to the guy I goes mate I sell flipping loom bands
(0, 6) 1248 Hardly a nuisance
(0, 6) 1249 But he was having none of it
(0, 6) 1250 Tells me I got until 5 to dispose of my business basically.
(0, 6) 1251 So I ripped it up in his face and he stormed off
(0, 6) 1252 ~
(0, 6) 1253 I got no family
(0, 6) 1254 Nowhere here to live
(0, 6) 1255 Nothing.
(0, 6) 1256 Keeping me here now like.
(0, 6) 1257 ~
(0, 6) 1258 Like the other week with that smart red coat from The Salvation and the police questioning me thinking I nicked it.
(0, 6) 1259 Remember that.
(0, 6) 1260 ~
(0, 6) 1261 Can't even sit on the benches me and nan used to and have a cone of vicaras as there's dividers or some shit on there now.
(0, 6) 1262 I can't get a break
(0, 6) 1263 At all.
(0, 6) 1264 There always seems to be something like.
(0, 6) 1265 ~
(0, 6) 1266 If it's not one thing it's another.
(0, 6) 1267 ~
(0, 6) 1268 What IS the point
(0, 6) 1269 ~
(0, 6) 1270 You got me Dave says
(0, 6) 1271 Well us I mean.
(0, 6) 1272 At the centre.
(0, 6) 1273 ~
(0, 6) 1274 Thanks Dave but I can't live here can I
(0, 6) 1275 ~
(0, 6) 1276 Unfortunately not Dave starts
(0, 6) 1277 ~
(0, 6) 1278 Would if I could. You know that
(0, 6) 1279 But we CAN appeal the decision being that its after 56 days and with the PSPO
(0, 6) 1280 we can request evidence to support the claim of you being a nuisance
(0, 6) 1281 ~
(0, 6) 1282 We can do things Jo.
(0, 6) 1283 ~
(0, 6) 1284 I don't fucking care I utter
(0, 6) 1285 ~
(0, 6) 1286 It's just one slap after another
(0, 6) 1287 ~
(0, 6) 1288 Hey what did your nan always say Dave mumbles
(0, 6) 1289 ~
(0, 6) 1290 You get knocked down three times, Then you get back up four.
(0, 6) 1291 ~
(0, 6) 1292 Yeah well its a bit hard when you're constantly knocked down.
(0, 6) 1293 ~
(0, 6) 1294 Constantly invisible.
(0, 6) 1295 ~
(0, 6) 1296 I'm fucking sick of it.
(0, 6) 1297 ~
(0, 6) 1298 I'm as alone as I can be.
(0, 6) 1299 ~
(0, 6) 1300 Cant do it forever Dave.
(0, 6) 1301 ~
(0, 6) 1302 Theres a cliff in front of me. Murky water beneath and no matter how hard I try I keep getting pushed towards that edge.
(0, 6) 1303 ~
(0, 6) 1304 I make a couple of quid a day and for what?!
(0, 6) 1305 To put some bullshit happiness into the world one loom band at a time
(0, 6) 1306 ~
(0, 6) 1307 And I can't even get a roof over my head for my troubles.
(0, 6) 1308 ~
(0, 6) 1309 A home of my own
(0, 6) 1310 ~
(0, 6) 1311 I ain't strong enough no more.
(0, 6) 1312 ~
(0, 6) 1313 He goes you're one of the strongest people I know Jo as he places his hand on my shoulder
(0, 6) 1314 ~
(0, 6) 1315 Yeah. Well I don't feel it I says to him
(0, 6) 1316 ~
(0, 6) 1317 Most of my life I've been here.
(0, 6) 1318 ~
(0, 6) 1319 Newport.
(0, 6) 1320 ~
(0, 6) 1321 My Nans house for the majority.
(0, 6) 1322 ~
(0, 6) 1323 Never left.
(0, 6) 1324 ~
(0, 6) 1325 I've loved Newport and Newports loved me.
(0, 6) 1326 ~
(0, 6) 1327 Forged in steel we are.
(0, 6) 1328 ~
(0, 6) 1329 No matter what comes our way.
(0, 6) 1330 ~
(0, 6) 1331 We can take it.
(0, 6) 1332 ~
(0, 6) 1333 We can give it back.
(0, 6) 1334 ~
(0, 6) 1335 But now it's all fucked.
(0, 6) 1336 ~
(0, 6) 1337 This is fucked.
(0, 6) 1338 ~
(0, 6) 1339 I'm fucked.
(0, 6) 1340 ~
(0, 6) 1341 It's all fucked.
(0, 6) 1342 ~
(0, 6) 1343 And I just wanna get off my fucking face
 
(0, 6) 1345 I'm sorry.
(0, 6) 1346 ~
(0, 6) 1347 What you apologising for? Dave chuckles
(0, 6) 1348 ~
(0, 6) 1349 I dunno
(0, 6) 1350 Everything
(0, 6) 1351 ~
(0, 6) 1352 I gotta go I says to him and I grab my bag and I'm off.
(0, 6) 1353 ~
(0, 6) 1354 Out the door
(0, 6) 1355 ~
(0, 6) 1356 Dave's chasing my heels
(0, 6) 1357 ~
(0, 6) 1358 Jo please he shouts you shouldn't be on your own this evening
(0, 6) 1359 ~
(0, 6) 1360 Look don't do anything stupid now.
(0, 6) 1361 ~
(0, 6) 1362 Come back.
(0, 6) 1363 ~
(0, 6) 1364 You've got nowhere to go.
(0, 6) 1365 ~
(0, 6) 1366 But I'm already a dot in the distance
(0, 6) 1367 ~
(0, 6) 1368 I've still got one place I yells back at him
(0, 6) 1369 ~
(0, 6) 1370 One place that'll always be home.
(0, 7) 1371 Trekking up Stow Hill
(0, 7) 1372 ~
(0, 7) 1373 Fragments of the hurricane falling on my face
(0, 7) 1374 ~
(0, 7) 1375 Getting heavier and heavier
(0, 7) 1376 ~
(0, 7) 1377 I just keep walking and walking.
(0, 7) 1378 ~
(0, 7) 1379 Through it all.
(0, 7) 1380 ~
(0, 7) 1381 Just letting my feet move one in front of the other.
 
(0, 7) 1384 And I'm passing shops and buildings that have been there as long as I can remember. Standing tall and proud. Just with people and tents in the doorways.
(0, 7) 1385 Taking shelter.
(0, 7) 1386 ~
(0, 7) 1387 I walk for what seems like miles and miles.
(0, 7) 1388 Half hour easy
(0, 7) 1389 ~
(0, 7) 1390 Until I rock up to the street thinking that it'll still be boarded up.
(0, 7) 1391 Like loads of the houses there
(0, 7) 1392 ~
(0, 7) 1393 I sneak around the back through the garage door which is still half broken and barely hanging onto its hinges.
(0, 7) 1394 ~
(0, 7) 1395 I move up the garden path but there's lights on and noise coming from the house.
(0, 7) 1396 ~
(0, 7) 1397 I duck down in the hedge and crawl towards the back of the house.
(0, 7) 1398 ~
(0, 7) 1399 Slowly slide up the back wall of the house and peer in the window
(0, 7) 1400 ~
(0, 7) 1401 And I see this woman playing with two little babies in the living room
(0, 7) 1402 ~
(0, 7) 1403 Laughter filling the halls
(0, 7) 1404 ~
(0, 7) 1405 But it's not my laughter.
(0, 7) 1406 The laughter that used to fill those halls.
(0, 7) 1407 It's not my family.
(0, 7) 1408 ~
(0, 7) 1409 And a guy in the kitchen pops his head through the living room door and says something to the woman who I'm presuming is his wife or girlfriend.
 
(0, 7) 1412 She picks up the babies and takes them through to the kitchen.
(0, 7) 1413 ~
(0, 7) 1414 I slurk around the side of the house like an MI6 stealth agent.
(0, 7) 1415 ~
(0, 7) 1416 Peer in through the side window of the kitchen to see them all sitting around the table.
(0, 7) 1417 ~
(0, 7) 1418 Dad taking the food out of the oven just like /(nan did)
 
(0, 7) 1420 /And they're all getting ready for tea.
(0, 7) 1421 ~
(0, 7) 1422 I feel my stomach start to tighten.
(0, 7) 1423 The butterflies are back.
(0, 7) 1424 ~
(0, 7) 1425 I gasp for air.
(0, 7) 1426 Big thick breaths
(0, 7) 1427 As I slump against the wall like a drowned rat.
(0, 7) 1428 ~
(0, 7) 1429 And in the corner
(0, 7) 1430 Just underneath the window sill
(0, 7) 1431 ~
(0, 7) 1432 A brick reads
(0, 7) 1433 ~
(0, 7) 1434 Joanne Woz Ere 2K5
(0, 7) 1435 With BFF Nan
(0, 7) 1436 ~
(0, 7) 1437 These bricks.
(0, 7) 1438 My bricks.
(0, 7) 1439 Are now someone else's.
(0, 7) 1440 ~
(0, 7) 1441 This home
(0, 7) 1442 My home
(0, 7) 1443 Now belongs to someone else.
(0, 7) 1444 ~
(0, 7) 1445 And that hurts.
(0, 7) 1446 Even more than the damn butterflies.
(0, 8) 1447 I sprint down the back garden like a robber fleeing the scene.
(0, 8) 1448 Out of the street and down past the school onto the dual carriageway to the footbridge that leads back into town.
 
(0, 8) 1451 I leg it back in, in half the time.
(0, 8) 1452 Like a marathon runner.
(0, 8) 1453 Hurricanes getting worse now
(0, 8) 1454 ~
(0, 8) 1455 ~
(0, 8) 1456 Fighting through the wind and rain that Wales always seems to have until my lungs can barely inflate any more.
(0, 8) 1457 ~
(0, 8) 1458 Down past St Woolos and The Spar and along the hill that leads into town.
(0, 8) 1459 ~
(0, 8) 1460 I get onto High Street and the songs of the drunk echo throughout the buildings as they keep the tents awake.
(0, 8) 1461 ~
(0, 8) 1462 ßWe like to drink with Jordanß
(0, 8) 1463 ßCos Jordan is our mateß
(0, 8) 1464 ßWe like to drink with Jordanß
(0, 8) 1465 ßCos he downs it all in eightß
(0, 8) 1466 ßSevenß
(0, 8) 1467 ßSixß
(0, 8) 1468 ßFiveß
(0, 8) 1469 ßFourß
(0, 8) 1470 ßThreeß
(0, 8) 1471 ßTwoß
(0, 8) 1472 ßOneß
(0, 8) 1473 ~
(0, 8) 1474 ßWheyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyß
(0, 8) 1475 ~
(0, 8) 1476 I slip past a crowd of merry drunks going past Boots,
(0, 8) 1477 Practically wearing next to nothing, the lot of them
(0, 8) 1478 and I stumble across some lad with a group of his friends
(0, 8) 1479 cock out
(0, 8) 1480 swaying over my tent
(0, 8) 1481 just pissing all over it
(0, 8) 1482 ~
(0, 8) 1483 I storm over
(0, 8) 1484 That's my tent mate
(0, 8) 1485 My stuff
(0, 8) 1486 The fuck like
(0, 8) 1487 ~
(0, 8) 1488 The gang start surrounding me
(0, 8) 1489 ~
(0, 8) 1490 Chanting
(0, 8) 1491 ~
(0, 8) 1492 Laughing as they do
(0, 8) 1493 ~
(0, 8) 1494 Like a pack of hyenas
(0, 8) 1495 ~
(0, 8) 1496 Telling me ßchill out loveß
(0, 8) 1497 ~
(0, 8) 1498 ßIt's only a jokeß
(0, 8) 1499 ~
(0, 8) 1500 As they proceed to throwing lager all over me because according to them I smell
(0, 8) 1501 ~
(0, 8) 1502 Get the fuck off my tent you dickhead I scream at him
(0, 8) 1503 ~
(0, 8) 1504 What are you doing?!
(0, 8) 1505 ~
(0, 8) 1506 I try to walk through the crowd to the arsehole who's started jumping on my tent but my legs won't let me and neither will they
(0, 8) 1507 ~
(0, 8) 1508 Like a gang of bouncers forming a wall around my tent.
(0, 8) 1509 ~
(0, 8) 1510 One of the gang says ßIs it really your tent love?ß
(0, 8) 1511 ~
(0, 8) 1512 Eat shit I yell
(0, 8) 1513 ~
(0, 8) 1514 The ginger haired one laughs and says ßIt ain't no use anymore.ß
(0, 8) 1515 ßCouldn't even put a dog in there.ß
(0, 8) 1516 ~
(0, 8) 1517 I try to barge through but a hand grabs my arm and throws me back.
(0, 8) 1518 ~
(0, 8) 1519 One of them rips my JD bag from off my shoulders
(0, 8) 1520 ~
(0, 8) 1521 Give that back now I tells 'em
(0, 8) 1522 ~
(0, 8) 1523 But they laugh some more
(0, 8) 1524 ~
(0, 8) 1525 Videoing me as they do
(0, 8) 1526 ~
(0, 8) 1527 ßSo, What do we have in here?ß says the ginger haired one
(0, 8) 1528 ~
(0, 8) 1529 I'm like none of your fucking business mate
(0, 8) 1530 ~
(0, 8) 1531 He laughs some more
(0, 8) 1532 Says ßtemper temper nowß
(0, 8) 1533 ~
(0, 8) 1534 As he loosens the bag
(0, 8) 1535 ~
(0, 8) 1536 I lunge through kicking and clawing at anything and anyone
(0, 8) 1537 Desperate
(0, 8) 1538 screaming STOP
(0, 8) 1539 ~
(0, 8) 1540 Just give me the coke bottle, That's all.
(0, 8) 1541 Please
(0, 8) 1542 ~
(0, 8) 1543 He yells
(0, 8) 1544 ~
(0, 8) 1545 ßGet off me you cuntß
(0, 8) 1546 ~
(0, 8) 1547 And then -
(0, 8) 1548 ~
(0, 8) 1549 My lip goes all numb
(0, 8) 1550 ~
(0, 8) 1551 I hit the floor
(0, 8) 1552 ~
(0, 8) 1553 Pain and shock surge through my body
(0, 8) 1554 ~
(0, 8) 1555 I hear the foot steps of them running away
(0, 8) 1556 ~
(0, 8) 1557 Echos of their voices in the distance -
(0, 8) 1558 ~
(0, 8) 1559 ßWhat the hell was that forß
(0, 8) 1560 ~
(0, 8) 1561 ßYou idiotß
(0, 8) 1562 ~
(0, 8) 1563 ßRun. C'mon run.ß
(0, 8) 1564 ~
(0, 8) 1565 I look down and see blood streaming through the puddles on the floor
(0, 8) 1566 ~
(0, 8) 1567 I feel my lip and see blood on my fingers
 
(0, 9) 1569 And suddenly I'm back in Co-Op, Two and a half years ago after I finished my shift at the post office
(0, 9) 1570 ~
(0, 9) 1571 Picking up dessert for Nan and I on my way home.
(0, 9) 1572 ~
(0, 9) 1573 Apple crumble with clotted cream.
(0, 9) 1574 ~
(0, 9) 1575 To go with her Chapman classic she's making - chicken casserole.
(0, 9) 1576 ~
(0, 9) 1577 Rodas cream though because Nan's a snob.
(0, 9) 1578 ~
(0, 9) 1579 Left me a voicemail
(0, 9) 1580 ~
(0, 9) 1581 She's sorry that things ain't been right and that she didn't tell me about her illness sooner
(0, 9) 1582 ~
(0, 9) 1583 As a peace offering offering she'll make my favourite - Casserole
(0, 9) 1584 ~
(0, 9) 1585 I rock up to the front gate, Co-Op bag in hand and pull my keys out of my back pocket for the front door
(0, 9) 1586 ~
(0, 9) 1587 I open the door to see Nan just laying there on the kitchen floor.
(0, 9) 1588 ~
(0, 9) 1589 Cold
(0, 9) 1590 ~
(0, 9) 1591 Lifeless
(0, 9) 1592 ~
(0, 9) 1593 A patch of blood surrounding her head.
(0, 9) 1594 ~
(0, 9) 1595 Blood staining the floor.
(0, 9) 1596 ~
(0, 9) 1597 I drop the bag
(0, 9) 1598 ~
(0, 9) 1599 Run over to her and hold her in my arms
(0, 9) 1600 ~
(0, 9) 1601 Her head in my chest
(0, 9) 1602 ~
(0, 9) 1603 Blood staining my clothes
(0, 9) 1604 ~
(0, 9) 1605 I say Nan
(0, 9) 1606 ~
(0, 9) 1607 C'mon Nan wake up
(0, 9) 1608 ~
(0, 9) 1609 Please just, wake up.
(0, 9) 1610 ~
(0, 9) 1611 Nothing.
(0, 9) 1612 ~
(0, 9) 1613 Blood staining my hands.
(0, 9) 1614 ~
(0, 9) 1615 I dial 999 and scream the address down the phone
(0, 9) 1616 ~
(0, 9) 1617 Tell them to hurry quick.
(0, 9) 1618 ~
(0, 9) 1619 They tell me to give her CPR but still nothing.
(0, 9) 1620 ~
(0, 9) 1621 She's non responsive.
(0, 9) 1622 ~
(0, 9) 1623 They're on their way.
(0, 9) 1624 ~
(0, 9) 1625 I hold her so tight.
(0, 9) 1626 ~
(0, 9) 1627 Times ticks away for what feels like an eternity.
(0, 9) 1628 ~
(0, 9) 1629 Thoughts racing through my head as she's in my arms
(0, 9) 1630 ~
(0, 9) 1631 How do you live when the one person who gives you strength is gone?
(0, 9) 1632 ~
(0, 9) 1633 Well the simple answer is you don't.
(0, 9) 1634 ~
(0, 9) 1635 The paramedics arrive and ask a ton of questions
(0, 9) 1636 ~
(0, 9) 1637 The police arrive and ask a ton more.
(0, 9) 1638 ~
(0, 9) 1639 But I'm struggling to string a sentence together, let alone a thought.
(0, 9) 1640 ~
(0, 9) 1641 They examine her body and the house.
(0, 9) 1642 ~
(0, 9) 1643 And deduce she must've fell and hit her head on the way down.
(0, 9) 1644 ~
(0, 9) 1645 The paramedic says they're taking her to the Gwent and asks if I want to ride in the ambulance.
(0, 9) 1646 ~
(0, 9) 1647 I simply nod.
(0, 9) 1648 ~
(0, 9) 1649 Walk outside next to Nan on the stretcher
(0, 9) 1650 ~
(0, 9) 1651 Holding her cold hand tight
(0, 9) 1652 ~
(0, 9) 1653 Edging closer and closer towards the flashing lights of the ambulance at the end of the drive.
 
(0, 10) 1655 Flashing lights are backing up towards me.
(0, 10) 1656 ~
(0, 10) 1657 I crawl towards the JD bag and check the contents
(0, 10) 1658 ~
(0, 10) 1659 The paramedics help me to the ambulance
(0, 10) 1660 ~
(0, 10) 1661 A community support officer is relaying everything I told her to the paramedic
(0, 10) 1662 ~
(0, 10) 1663 about the attack
(0, 10) 1664 ~
(0, 10) 1665 Look I'm fine I says to them both I can't be here
(0, 10) 1666 ~
(0, 10) 1667 The paramedic looks at me and just says we have to take you in with a head injury Joanne.
(0, 10) 1668 ~
(0, 10) 1669 It's routine nowadays.
(0, 10) 1670 ~
(0, 10) 1671 And besides with weather like this its better to be off the streets anyway.
(0, 10) 1672 ~
(0, 10) 1673 I sit there
(0, 10) 1674 ~
(0, 10) 1675 Clutching my bag.
(0, 10) 1676 ~
(0, 10) 1677 Refusing to give it in as evidence
(0, 10) 1678 ~
(0, 10) 1679 We pull up into the hospital loading bay and they check me in as I go through the waiting area.
(0, 10) 1680 ~
(0, 10) 1681 The usual stares and whispers I'm accustomed to follow me like an STI as I find a seat and plonk my ass down.
(0, 10) 1682 ~
(0, 10) 1683 Next to the coffee machine and vending machine.
(0, 10) 1684 ~
(0, 10) 1685 I go to couple opposite me Spare any change for a coffee?
(0, 10) 1686 ~
(0, 10) 1687 They just shake their head
(0, 10) 1688 ~
(0, 10) 1689 They go really sorry love
(0, 10) 1690 ~
(0, 10) 1691 I move on down and ask a gentlemen with his teenage boy
(0, 10) 1692 ~
(0, 10) 1693 Spare a few pence for a coffee mate?
(0, 10) 1694 ~
(0, 10) 1695 Two secs he says as he produces his wallet from his jean pocket and unzips the coin part.
(0, 10) 1696 ~
(0, 10) 1697 Looks in and takes out two 20p's and hands them to me.
(0, 10) 1698 ~
(0, 10) 1699 Thank you ever so much I say to him with a smile
(0, 10) 1700 ~
(0, 10) 1701 I go to end of the row and just as I go to pass a teenage girl a lady in a white fluorescent coat takes a seat next to her.
(0, 10) 1702 ~
(0, 10) 1703 I look at her and she looks up at me
(0, 10) 1704 ~
(0, 10) 1705 Joanne she mutters all shocked
(0, 10) 1706 ~
(0, 10) 1707 What are you doing here?
(0, 10) 1708 ~
(0, 10) 1709 Sandra? What are you doing here?
(0, 10) 1710 Spare any change for a coffee? I ask
(0, 10) 1711 ~
(0, 10) 1712 Yeah Yeah of course, How much are they she queries
(0, 10) 1713 ~
(0, 10) 1714 I takes a long hard look at the menu on the side.
(0, 10) 1715 ~
(0, 10) 1716 ~
(0, 10) 1717 I'll treat myself. Shit night if I say so myself
(0, 10) 1718 The weather and all
(0, 10) 1719 ~
(0, 10) 1720 She says yeah of course and places the money in the machine.
(0, 10) 1721 ~
(0, 10) 1722 I take my coffee and sit down
(0, 10) 1723 ~
(0, 10) 1724 Go to take my first sip and Gemma the community support officer darts over and says No No No Joanne.
(0, 10) 1725 You can't drink as you have a head injury.
(0, 10) 1726 Concussion and all that.
(0, 10) 1727 You have to wait until you're fully checked over first.
(0, 10) 1728 ~
(0, 10) 1729 You're shitting me? I says to her
(0, 10) 1730 ~
(0, 10) 1731 I'm afraid not she says as she takes the coffee from my hand and goes back to reception.
(0, 10) 1732 ~
(0, 10) 1733 Head injury? Sandra pops up with
(0, 10) 1734 ~
(0, 10) 1735 What's happened?
(0, 10) 1736 ~
(0, 10) 1737 Nothing
(0, 10) 1738 ~
(0, 10) 1739 Just got attacked in town. I tell her.
(0, 10) 1740 ~
(0, 10) 1741 It's no big deal. Just a bunch of drunk arseholes
(0, 10) 1742 ~
(0, 10) 1743 Are you mad?
(0, 10) 1744 ~
(0, 10) 1745 No big deal
(0, 10) 1746 ~
(0, 10) 1747 Are you OK? she softly asks me
(0, 10) 1748 ~
(0, 10) 1749 I nod to her and say yeah I'll be fine
(0, 10) 1750 ~
(0, 10) 1751 What are you down here for then? I quiz her
(0, 10) 1752 ~
(0, 10) 1753 She looks at the young girl next to her then back at me
(0, 10) 1754 ~
(0, 10) 1755 Her eyes start to get all glossy and teary again.
(0, 10) 1756 ~
(0, 10) 1757 It's ok I tell her. You don't have to say.
(0, 10) 1758 ~
(0, 10) 1759 Thanks again for these she says holding the pink loom band on her wrist
(0, 10) 1760 ~
(0, 10) 1761 She loves it pointing to the girl next to her who's wearing one as well.
(0, 10) 1762 ~
(0, 10) 1763 Her nan, my mum. She has the third one.
(0, 10) 1764 ~
(0, 10) 1765 She's through there.
(0, 10) 1766 ~
(0, 10) 1767 We're just waiting for the doctors to come and give us an update.
(0, 10) 1768 ~
(0, 10) 1769 Fell on the stairs she did.
(0, 10) 1770 ~
(0, 10) 1771 I'm sorry I goes
 
(0, 10) 1773 Your lip Sandra says
(0, 10) 1774 ~
(0, 10) 1775 Looks painful
(0, 10) 1776 ~
(0, 10) 1777 Worse than it is I say
(0, 10) 1778 ~
(0, 10) 1779 A few stitches and I'll be fine
(0, 10) 1780 ~
(0, 10) 1781 Bruises will heal up on their own.
(0, 10) 1782 ~
(0, 10) 1783 But what about the bruises underneath Sandra says
(0, 10) 1784 ~
(0, 10) 1785 The ones we don't see
(0, 10) 1786 ~
(0, 10) 1787 Just takes time I guess.
 
(0, 10) 1789 Yeah. Time she says
(0, 10) 1790 ~
(0, 10) 1791 The one thing we haven't got enough of.
(0, 10) 1792 ~
(0, 10) 1793 Or can never get back I says to her
(0, 10) 1794 ~
(0, 10) 1795 Yeah she replies Just got to make the most out of the time you have whilst you still can.
(0, 10) 1796 ~
(0, 10) 1797 You never know what tomorrow is going to bring
 
(0, 10) 1799 It's Cancer she tells me as the tears slowly emerge from her eyelids
(0, 10) 1800 ~
(0, 10) 1801 I'm sorry.
(0, 10) 1802 ~
(0, 10) 1803 I really am I say
(0, 10) 1804 ~
(0, 10) 1805 Don't be silly love you got nothing to be sorry for.
(0, 10) 1806 You got your own problems
(0, 10) 1807 Just affecting this one here she goes as she puts her arm around the young girl for a moment.
(0, 10) 1808 Nanny's girl see.
(0, 10) 1809 ~
(0, 10) 1810 I smile a beaming smile and say I was too.
(0, 10) 1811 A Nanny's girl that is.
(0, 10) 1812 ~
(0, 10) 1813 The young girl looks at me and smiles then her focus is straight back on the hospital ward door to see if the doctor emerges with more news.
(0, 10) 1814 ~
(0, 10) 1815 It'll be ok.
(0, 10) 1816 I promise
(0, 10) 1817 ~
(0, 10) 1818 You have to live for today Sandra says because tomorrows never promised
(0, 10) 1819 I learnt that now more than ever
(0, 10) 1820 ~
(0, 10) 1821 Yeah. You're right I tell her
(0, 10) 1822 ~
(0, 10) 1823 And same to you.
(0, 10) 1824 ~
(0, 10) 1825 It's the memories that keep someone alive.
(0, 10) 1826 ~
(0, 10) 1827 Even after they're gone.
(0, 10) 1828 ~
(0, 10) 1829 The way you're connected and remain together regardless.
(0, 10) 1830 ~
(0, 10) 1831 Through those loom bands for example.
(0, 10) 1832 ~
(0, 10) 1833 Each memory is intertwined.
(0, 10) 1834 ~
(0, 10) 1835 Forever.
(0, 10) 1836 ~
(0, 10) 1837 You're a lovely soul d'you know that, Sandra says, as we both stare into the vending machine at the rows of chocolate bars and crisps the Gwent have to offer.
(0, 10) 1838 ~
(0, 10) 1839 She looks at the time
(0, 10) 1840 ~
(0, 10) 1841 Says, She's lucky to have you. Your nan.
(0, 10) 1842 ~
(0, 10) 1843 I say we didn't have enough time together.
(0, 10) 1844 ~
(0, 10) 1845 Unfortunately
(0, 10) 1846 ~
(0, 10) 1847 Passed about 2 years ago now.
(0, 10) 1848 ~
(0, 10) 1849 I'm sorry about that she tells me.
(0, 10) 1850 ~
(0, 10) 1851 I bet she would've been proud.
(0, 10) 1852 ~
(0, 10) 1853 You're a very kind spirit.
(0, 10) 1854 ~
(0, 10) 1855 I say she had a condition
(0, 10) 1856 ~
(0, 10) 1857 That restricted the flow of oxygen out of the heart
(0, 10) 1858 ~
(0, 10) 1859 Made it beat irregularly which caused one of her dizzy spells.
(0, 10) 1860 ~
(0, 10) 1861 She had a severe lack of oxygen causing a mini stroke and she fell back and hit her head on the kitchen table.
(0, 10) 1862 ~
(0, 10) 1863 I never did say goodbye though.
(0, 10) 1864 ~
(0, 10) 1865 That's what kills me the most.
(0, 10) 1866 ~
(0, 10) 1867 ~
(0, 10) 1868 And we sit there, together.
(0, 10) 1869 ~
(0, 10) 1870 And we both get it.
(0, 10) 1871 ~
(0, 10) 1872 Where we're coming from.
(0, 10) 1873 ~
(0, 10) 1874 Time isn't promised
(0, 10) 1875 ~
(0, 10) 1876 And as I stare up at the giant clock on the wall watching the seconds pass by in our silence.
(0, 10) 1877 ~
(0, 10) 1878 It's nice to be reminded of that.
(0, 10) 1879 ~
(0, 10) 1880 To live for today.
(0, 10) 1881 ~
(0, 10) 1882 Make decisions for today.
(0, 10) 1883 ~
(0, 10) 1884 Get help for today.
(0, 10) 1885 ~
(0, 10) 1886 Always.
(0, 11) 1887 We get comfortable with each other's silence and through the waiting room wades in Dave.
(0, 11) 1888 ~
(0, 11) 1889 As he's the only point of contact I have.
(0, 11) 1890 ~
(0, 11) 1891 He struts right up to me.
(0, 11) 1892 ~
(0, 11) 1893 Says I've tried ringing you all evening.
(0, 11) 1894 ~
(0, 11) 1895 I answer with Sorry. Told them not to bother you as its late but they insisted.
(0, 11) 1896 ~
(0, 11) 1897 Procedure and that
(0, 11) 1898 ~
(0, 11) 1899 Don't be soft he says
(0, 11) 1900 ~
(0, 11) 1901 You can always count on me
(0, 11) 1902 ~
(0, 11) 1903 I was straight here.
(0, 11) 1904 ~
(0, 11) 1905 Just had to find somewhere to park.
(0, 11) 1906 ~
(0, 11) 1907 It's a nightmare.
(0, 11) 1908 ~
(0, 11) 1909 Sandra chirps in with Tell me about it
(0, 11) 1910 ~
(0, 11) 1911 They introduce themselves and have a quick chat.
(0, 11) 1912 Get on like a house on fire, which is nice.
(0, 11) 1913 ~
(0, 11) 1914 Did you manage to see their faces and give a full statement? He asks
(0, 11) 1915 ~
(0, 11) 1916 Yeah I saw most of them and I've given a statement
(0, 11) 1917 ~
(0, 11) 1918 I points to the support officer at reception and the other one at the end of the row.
(0, 11) 1919 ~
(0, 11) 1920 He looks at me relieved
(0, 11) 1921 ~
(0, 11) 1922 Joanne Chapman calls a nurse
(0, 11) 1923 ~
(0, 11) 1924 I grab my things and as I go to leave Sandra pops up from her chair and gives me a hug
(0, 11) 1925 ~
(0, 11) 1926 Any chance you have three spare pink bands? just for extras in case
(0, 11) 1927 ~
(0, 11) 1928 I nod
(0, 11) 1929 ~
(0, 11) 1930 Get the carrier bag out and hand it to her
(0, 11) 1931 ~
(0, 11) 1932 She looks at me baffled
(0, 11) 1933 ~
(0, 11) 1934 I say have them
(0, 11) 1935 They're yours
(0, 11) 1936 ~
(0, 11) 1937 Newport still needs those little rays of sunshine.
(0, 11) 1938 ~
(0, 11) 1939 Happiness, one loom band at a time.
(0, 11) 1940 ~
(0, 11) 1941 And I couldn't think of anyone better to carry that on
(0, 11) 1942 ~
(0, 11) 1943 Sandra takes them
(0, 11) 1944 smiles the warmest of smiles
(0, 11) 1945 and hugs me
(0, 11) 1946 popping a £20 note in my pocket as she does
(0, 11) 1947 ~
(0, 11) 1948 I'm not taking no for an answer
(0, 11) 1949 It's been a pleasure to meet you Jo
(0, 11) 1950 Don't be a stranger
(0, 11) 1951 Stay safe ok.
(0, 11) 1952 ~
(0, 11) 1953 And you I goes.
(0, 11) 1954 Take care of each other
(0, 11) 1955 And keep the memories alive
(0, 12) 1956 I'm in the cubicle
(0, 12) 1957 ~
(0, 12) 1958 Sheet pulled around
(0, 12) 1959 ~
(0, 12) 1960 Daves on the outside standing guard
(0, 12) 1961 ~
(0, 12) 1962 Nurse checks me over thoroughly
(0, 12) 1963 ~
(0, 12) 1964 No Pain
(0, 12) 1965 ~
(0, 12) 1966 No Nausea
(0, 12) 1967 ~
(0, 12) 1968 But hours pass and by the time we've gone back and forth the x ray, the doctors and she finishes stitching up my lip Sunrise is on the horizon
(0, 12) 1969 ~
(0, 12) 1970 Finally the doctor says you're good to go
(0, 12) 1971 ~
(0, 12) 1972 And I'm out of there
(0, 12) 1973 ~
(0, 12) 1974 To Daves car
(0, 12) 1975 ~
(0, 12) 1976 A gold Ford escort
(0, 12) 1977 ~
(0, 12) 1978 The weathers eased off as we jump in and sit there for a second
(0, 12) 1979 ~
(0, 12) 1980 Dave,
(0, 12) 1981 Can you drop me off by the leisure centre I ask him
(0, 12) 1982 ~
(0, 12) 1983 No, you're coming back to the centre and then we're going to figure this all out he rambles
(0, 12) 1984 ~
(0, 12) 1985 Please
(0, 12) 1986 I got something I need to do I say to him
(0, 12) 1987 ~
(0, 12) 1988 OK fine he mumbles but then you're coming back to the centre
(0, 12) 1989 Can kip on the sofa and I'm not taking no for an answer.
(0, 12) 1990 Regardless of my bosses.
(0, 12) 1991 ~
(0, 12) 1992 You leave them to me
 
(0, 12) 1994 Alri(ght) fine I goes to him
(0, 12) 1995 ~
(0, 12) 1996 Working Not Begging 52
(0, 12) 1997 Dave just looks at me through his Austin Powers glasses with his big brown eyes
(0, 12) 1998 ~
(0, 12) 1999 Don't look at me like that I tell him
 
(0, 12) 2001 He turns the key
(0, 12) 2002 ~
(0, 12) 2003 Starts the engine and off we go.
(0, 13) 2004 Past the police station towards George Street Bridge and left towards the Leisure centre.
(0, 13) 2005 ~
(0, 13) 2006 He pulls the car up beside the centre and I hop out
(0, 13) 2007 ~
(0, 13) 2008 I'll wait by here for you he says
(0, 13) 2009 ~
(0, 13) 2010 I fly into Sainsburys
(0, 13) 2011 ~
(0, 13) 2012 Security guard follows me round like a fly on shit.
(0, 13) 2013 But I stride straight over to the alcohol cabinet and grabs a four pack of red stripe.
(0, 13) 2014 Over to the till and I shove my hand in my pocket to pull out the twenty that Sandra gave me and I chucks it at the checkout girl who gives me a stinking look and then gives me my change.
(0, 13) 2015 ~
(0, 13) 2016 I rip one can off and put the three in my JD bag
 
(0, 13) 2018 Two thirds gone.
(0, 13) 2019 ~
(0, 13) 2020 I leave the store much to the relief of the employees.
(0, 13) 2021 ~
(0, 13) 2022 Dart across the road and hop onto the white footbridge.
(0, 13) 2023 ~
(0, 13) 2024 It's empty
 
(0, 13) 2027 You know you said you'd never leave me!?
(0, 13) 2028 ~
(0, 13) 2029 And I believed you
(0, 13) 2030 ~
(0, 13) 2031 Said you'd always be with me!
(0, 13) 2032 But you're not.
(0, 13) 2033 ~
(0, 13) 2034 You left me.
(0, 13) 2035 ~
(0, 13) 2036 And I miss you so much.
(0, 13) 2037 ~
(0, 13) 2038 And I hate you so much for leaving.
(0, 13) 2039 ~
(0, 13) 2040 I never got the chance to say thank you
(0, 13) 2041 ~
(0, 13) 2042 For everything.
(0, 13) 2043 ~
(0, 13) 2044 You know.
(0, 13) 2045 ~
(0, 13) 2046 Not just taking me in and raising me.
(0, 13) 2047 ~
(0, 13) 2048 But for putting up with me.
(0, 13) 2049 ~
(0, 13) 2050 All the tantrums and triumphs.
(0, 13) 2051 ~
(0, 13) 2052 Everything.
(0, 13) 2053 ~
(0, 13) 2054 For loving me endlessly and making me your entire world.
(0, 13) 2055 ~
(0, 13) 2056 It was all the times I could come to you with a problem or a dilemma.
(0, 13) 2057 ~
(0, 13) 2058 And you wouldn't rest until that problem or whatever was sorted.
(0, 13) 2059 ~
(0, 13) 2060 All the times you'd take me strawberry picking and let me eat the strawberries on the way around.
(0, 13) 2061 ~
(0, 13) 2062 All the trips to Barry Island
(0, 13) 2063 ~
(0, 13) 2064 All the 2p's and prizes
(0, 13) 2065 ~
(0, 13) 2066 All the sing-alongs to Gabrielle
 
(0, 13) 2068 You were right
(0, 13) 2069 ~
(0, 13) 2070 When you told me that is precious
(0, 13) 2071 ~
(0, 13) 2072 I hate that we were on borrowed time.
(0, 13) 2073 ~
(0, 13) 2074 And there's nothing worst than running on borrowed time.
(0, 13) 2075 ~
(0, 13) 2076 Time that is going to run out like that {snaps her fingers}
(0, 13) 2077 I didn't have no money for an urn
(0, 13) 2078 ~
(0, 13) 2079 They placed you in a plastic jar at first but it was a bit chunky when I was in emergency accommodation so I had to place you in this.
(0, 13) 2080 ~
(0, 13) 2081 Hope that's ok.
 
(0, 13) 2083 Thank you for being the best Mother
(0, 13) 2084 ~
(0, 13) 2085 Best Nanna
(0, 13) 2086 ~
(0, 13) 2087 Best friend
(0, 13) 2088 ~
(0, 13) 2089 A girl could ask for.
(0, 13) 2090 ~
(0, 13) 2091 Thank you for teaching me to remain kind hearted and compassionate
(0, 13) 2092 ~
(0, 13) 2093 Even in the darkest of times.
(0, 13) 2094 ~
(0, 13) 2095 And to help others as best I can.
(0, 13) 2096 ~
(0, 13) 2097 Do you believe in parallels?
(0, 13) 2098 Parallel worlds, parallel lives, parallel us.
(0, 13) 2099 ~
(0, 13) 2100 Just out there beyond the stars, beyond the sun is another me so that means that there is another you.
(0, 13) 2101 ~
(0, 13) 2102 Somewhere.
(0, 13) 2103 ~
(0, 13) 2104 In a universe of infinite possibilities I know you're waiting.
(0, 13) 2105 ~
(0, 13) 2106 For me.
(0, 13) 2107 ~
(0, 13) 2108 And I Promise
 
(0, 13) 2110 I'll see you soon
 
(0, 13) 2214 Sunshine through my window
(0, 13) 2215 That's what you are
(0, 13) 2216 My shining star