Ciw-restr

A Monologue for Me

Llinellau gan Branscombe (Cyfanswm: 151)

 
(0, 1) 6 Hullo!
(0, 1) 7 Morley.
(0, 1) 8 Glad to see you.
(0, 1) 9 You're as welcome as the sign of a "pub" to a thirsty man.
(0, 1) 10 Have you got a new play for me?
 
(0, 1) 13 What is it then─a dirge or a comic song?
 
(0, 1) 15 It sounds good.
 
(0, 1) 18 That sentimental oozing from a sickly soul, with four people in it?
(0, 1) 19 Never!
 
(0, 1) 21 Managers wouldn't look at it.
 
(0, 1) 24 No─some of 'em shout "Drivel," and the rest shout "Farce," or "Amen."
(0, 1) 25 You've got to mix the wildly improbable with the infinitely ridiculous, put it into my serious mouth, and it'll come out in golden drops of mirth.
(0, 1) 26 Let's see the hotch-potch.
(0, 1) 27 If it's a monologue for me, it's all right.
 
(0, 1) 30 Tut! tut! you're always in the clouds.
(0, 1) 31 I can make anything go down with a gurgle, if it's written round my personality.
(0, 1) 32 The public, bless 'em! come to see me, not the play.
 
(0, 1) 34 All right, old man, don't get cynical.
(0, 1) 35 It isn't natural at your time of life.
(0, 1) 36 You can take it from me that the great B.P. don't want emotions and tears, but action and laughter.
 
(0, 1) 39 Not a bad idea!
(0, 1) 40 Can you suggest a few details for such a masterpiece?
 
(0, 1) 44 A cheap orchestra, by jove!
(0, 1) 45 Why, they'd roar themselves hoarse at such a show.
 
(0, 1) 48 My dear old chap, people must have bacon, and they must laugh; and if they don't find drama to their taste, why on earth shouldn't they have pigs and squeals?
 
(0, 1) 52 Who's responsible, I'd like to know?
 
(0, 1) 56 My dear Morley, draw it mild.
(0, 1) 57 Don't let the pot boil over, or you'll scald yourself.
 
(0, 1) 59 You are too altruistic for this sinful world, my son.
(0, 1) 60 The wise man smokes shag when he can't rise to a cigar.
(0, 1) 61 Take my tip, and make the best of pig.
(0, 1) 62 Break out in A Monologue for me, fling sentiment to the dogs, and there you are.
 
(0, 1) 70 I'll do it!
(0, 1) 71 I'll give 'em Branscombe up to date!
 
(0, 1) 73 Look here! if I got on that chair, and held up my leg by the hem of my trousers, and the thing ripped {imitates ripping cloth} they'd scream themselves hoarse.
(0, 1) 74 The curious thing is, if you did it, they wouldn't laugh at all, because yeu couldn't put your soul into it.
(0, 1) 75 It's personality does it.
 
(0, 1) 79 You're getting on!
 
(0, 1) 81 It would give you a balance at the bank, and that's the only balance that matters.
 
(0, 1) 84 in the flat of his hand.}
(0, 1) 85 Reputation!
(0, 1) 86 You talk about reputation─you─who dare to cut me up─me─into the fourth part of a quartette.
(0, 1) 87 Have I climbed to fame to be smothered, overlain, by this quadrigenarious quartette?
(0, 1) 88 I'll show you how to write a play.
 
(0, 1) 90 Apologise, you brute!
 
(0, 1) 95 What do you think of that for a bit of critic's work?
 
(0, 1) 99 The bigger the folly, the bigger the laugh.
 
(0, 1) 101 It's good to laugh 'till you cry.
(0, 1) 102 Give me the book.
 
(0, 1) 104 Here we are!
(0, 1) 105 I'll do the big part, and you throw in interjections, to keep me going.
 
(0, 1) 109 Good!
(0, 1) 110 That'll tickle the gallery.
(0, 1) 111 Here, sit down and take notes in shorthand.
 
(0, 1) 113 We'll give her a line or two to keep her quiet.
(0, 1) 114 H'm!
(0, 1) 115 ~
(0, 1) 116 I'm a Judge, about to sentence a prisoner for larceny.
 
(0, 1) 118 Notice the attitude and the judicial cough.
 
(0, 1) 120 Eleanor Rachel Smart.
(0, 1) 121 No, that won't do.
(0, 1) 122 She musn't be smart at the very start.
 
(0, 1) 124 Our best judge does it─poor "darling"!─ahem!
(0, 1) 125 Always gas, dear boy, when there's a vacuum to be filled.
(0, 1) 126 It catches the B.P. under the fifth rib, gastric gurgle, you know.
 
(0, 1) 128 Fastidious youth!
(0, 1) 129 Attention!
(0, 1) 130 Scene one:─Prisoner at the bar, you are accused of stealing {fumbles with the pages} stealing─
(0, 1) 131 There's no reference here to the article purloined.
(0, 1) 132 The indictment is bad in law, worse than the offence in morals.
(0, 1) 133 The Johnnie who fuddled it up ought to be sentenced to six months in the bubbly bottle division, lemonade side.
 
(0, 1) 136 Rot!
(0, 1) 137 If the safe was safe, she couldn't steal 'em.
(0, 1) 138 No, it was a gold locket; from her lover, heart shaped, of course.
(0, 1) 139 He gave it her as a pledge of something or other.
(0, 1) 140 They quarrelled, and he forgot.
(0, 1) 141 Portia defends herself─through me─and turns the tables on the unsafe safe-maker and the lost memory mortal, and gets compensation from the government.
(0, 1) 142 Work in a joke about pledges─my Uncle's pawn-ticket─see?
(0, 1) 143 I can make a lot out of that.
 
(0, 1) 145 What's the odds, so long as I make the jokes?
 
(0, 1) 147 You can do anything in a Court of Mono-law-g, dear boy.
(0, 1) 148 You can commit a judge for contempt of court; make the jury sing comic songs; criticise the critics; and make every fellow see himself as he ought not to be.
 
(0, 1) 150 The spirit speaks─what!
(0, 1) 151 "Hi, waiter!
(0, 1) 152 Three pen'oth o' gin 'ot: an' I'll toss yer who pyes."
(0, 1) 153 I get my laugh, hurry back to the Seat of Justice, dab my nose with red, and let the gin speak.
(0, 1) 154 A pal at the back throws a cabbage at me, by way of fraternal greeting, and the court missionary presents the peeress in the dock with a red rose, peppered with snuff, the emblem of tears.
 
(0, 1) 156 Lottery-tottery; but what matter?
(0, 1) 157 The peeress in the dock sniffs the snuff in the red rose, gets into wild hysterics, and the court missionary swears by all the demons of ruddy ruin─
 
(0, 1) 160 My missionary does.
(0, 1) 161 He's not a common missionary.
(0, 1) 162 The noble judge comforts the pretty peeress and encourages her to hold the snuffy rose under the missionary's nose, until he dies sneezing.
(0, 1) 163 Talk about poetical justice!
(0, 1) 164 What do you say to that?
 
(0, 1) 166 What's crazy to you will be a craze to the B.P.
(0, 1) 167 Don't be jealous!
(0, 1) 168 You shall have all the credit, and it'll make you infamous!
(0, 1) 169 Observe.
(0, 1) 170 Nobody speaks but me in this monologue.
(0, 1) 171 The missionary and the maid move only when I pull the strings.
 
(0, 1) 174 The B.P. understand D.T.'s; they don't understand the higher ethics.
 
(0, 1) 176 Pshaw!
(0, 1) 177 The beastly thing has got tangled up.
(0, 1) 178 It was you chippin' in that spoiled it all.
(0, 1) 179 Never mind! it'll stand for all time as a mighty intellectual effort.
(0, 1) 180 Give me a whiskey and soda and help yourself.
 
(0, 1) 182 We've done a jolly good morning's work.
(0, 1) 183 We deserve a drink.
(0, 1) 184 Here's success to The Monologue!
 
(0, 1) 188 Dear boy! my past is my repast, I live on it.
 
(0, 1) 190 There's a knock at the door.
(0, 1) 191 Come in!
 
(0, 1) 203 You appear to know my Secretary, Morley?
 
(0, 1) 234 I'll leave you, Morley.
 
(0, 1) 236 Poor little girl!
 
(0, 1) 261 The Police Court?
(0, 1) 262 What on earth does she mean, Morley?
 
(0, 1) 272 I say, this is very distressing, Morley.
(0, 1) 273 I don't know what to─to─
(0, 1) 274 Oh, damn it! I'm going to stand by you.
(0, 1) 275 Can't you see that you are torturing her?
(0, 1) 276 What right have you to ask her to bare her soul to you?
 
(0, 1) 278 Your wife!
(0, 1) 279 Forgive me, old fellow.
(0, 1) 280 I'll go; she may speak more freely when you are alone.
 
(0, 1) 282 Poor little girl!
 
(0, 1) 293 Come, Miss─Mrs. Morley, we are both your friends, and we're going to see you through.
 
(0, 1) 295 Tell us all about it.
(0, 1) 296 We'll find a way to straighten things out, you bet.
(0, 1) 297 There's my hand.
 
(0, 1) 322 Ah!
 
(0, 1) 324 Go on, Miss─Mrs. Morley.
 
(0, 1) 369 Pshaw! pooh!
(0, 1) 370 What a fool I am!
 
(0, 1) 373 A damn rotten business I call it.
(0, 1) 374 Somebody ought to be shot.
 
(0, 1) 378 Eh! what!
 
(0, 1) 380 You've soon got over it!
 
(0, 1) 382 What the deuce is there to laugh about?
 
(0, 1) 384 Your little plays!
(0, 1) 385 You're funny, aren't you?
 
(0, 1) 391 Like it?
 
(0, 1) 393 I feel inclined to break your neck.
(0, 1) 394 You've taken an unfair advantage of me.
(0, 1) 395 As for you, Mrs. Morley─
 
(0, 1) 398 The devil!─
(0, 1) 399 I beg your pardon.
 
(0, 1) 403 If it's a match, Morley, my boy, I'll produce your play with the same cast─as a wedding present.
 
(0, 1) 406 Shut up!
(0, 1) 407 Miss O'Connor, the word's with you.
(0, 1) 408 Is it a bargain?