| Joanne |
Flashing lights are backing up towards me. I crawl towards the JD bag and check the contents The paramedics help me to the ambulance A community support officer is relaying everything I told her to the paramedic about the attack Look I'm fine I says to them both I can't be here The paramedic looks at me and just says we have to take you in with a head injury Joanne. It's routine nowadays. And besides with weather like this its better to be off the streets anyway. I sit there Clutching my bag. Refusing to give it in as evidence We pull up into the hospital loading bay and they check me in as I go through the waiting area. The usual stares and whispers I'm accustomed to follow me like an STI as I find a seat and plonk my ass down. Next to the coffee machine and vending machine. I go to couple opposite me Spare any change for a coffee? They just shake their head They go really sorry love I move on down and ask a gentlemen with his teenage boy Spare a few pence for a coffee mate? Two secs he says as he produces his wallet from his jean pocket and unzips the coin part. Looks in and takes out two 20p's and hands them to me. Thank you ever so much I say to him with a smile I go to end of the row and just as I go to pass a teenage girl a lady in a white fluorescent coat takes a seat next to her. I look at her and she looks up at me Joanne she mutters all shocked What are you doing here? Sandra? What are you doing here? Spare any change for a coffee? I ask Yeah Yeah of course, How much are they she queries I takes a long hard look at the menu on the side. I'll treat myself. Shit night if I say so myself The weather and all She says yeah of course and places the money in the machine. I take my coffee and sit down Go to take my first sip and Gemma the community support officer darts over and says No No No Joanne. You can't drink as you have a head injury. Concussion and all that. You have to wait until you're fully checked over first. You're shitting me? I says to her I'm afraid not she says as she takes the coffee from my hand and goes back to reception. Head injury? Sandra pops up with What's happened? Nothing Just got attacked in town. I tell her. It's no big deal. Just a bunch of drunk arseholes Are you mad? No big deal Are you OK? she softly asks me I nod to her and say yeah I'll be fine What are you down here for then? I quiz her She looks at the young girl next to her then back at me Her eyes start to get all glossy and teary again. It's ok I tell her. You don't have to say. Thanks again for these she says holding the pink loom band on her wrist She loves it pointing to the girl next to her who's wearing one as well. Her nan, my mum. She has the third one. She's through there. We're just waiting for the doctors to come and give us an update. Fell on the stairs she did. I'm sorry I goes |
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| Joanne |
Your lip Sandra says Looks painful Worse than it is I say A few stitches and I'll be fine Bruises will heal up on their own. But what about the bruises underneath Sandra says The ones we don't see Just takes time I guess. |
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| Joanne |
Yeah. Time she says The one thing we haven't got enough of. Or can never get back I says to her Yeah she replies Just got to make the most out of the time you have whilst you still can. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring |
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| Joanne |
It's Cancer she tells me as the tears slowly emerge from her eyelids I'm sorry. I really am I say Don't be silly love you got nothing to be sorry for. You got your own problems Just affecting this one here she goes as she puts her arm around the young girl for a moment. Nanny's girl see. I smile a beaming smile and say I was too. A Nanny's girl that is. The young girl looks at me and smiles then her focus is straight back on the hospital ward door to see if the doctor emerges with more news. It'll be ok. I promise You have to live for today Sandra says because tomorrows never promised I learnt that now more than ever Yeah. You're right I tell her And same to you. It's the memories that keep someone alive. Even after they're gone. The way you're connected and remain together regardless. Through those loom bands for example. Each memory is intertwined. Forever. You're a lovely soul d'you know that, Sandra says, as we both stare into the vending machine at the rows of chocolate bars and crisps the Gwent have to offer. She looks at the time Says, She's lucky to have you. Your nan. I say we didn't have enough time together. Unfortunately Passed about 2 years ago now. I'm sorry about that she tells me. I bet she would've been proud. You're a very kind spirit. I say she had a condition That restricted the flow of oxygen out of the heart Made it beat irregularly which caused one of her dizzy spells. She had a severe lack of oxygen causing a mini stroke and she fell back and hit her head on the kitchen table. I never did say goodbye though. That's what kills me the most. And we sit there, together. And we both get it. Where we're coming from. Time isn't promised And as I stare up at the giant clock on the wall watching the seconds pass by in our silence. It's nice to be reminded of that. To live for today. Make decisions for today. Get help for today. Always. |